|Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Bowl Fever and Mr. Wonderful
The Dear Wife, Mrs. Silliman, received one of those Alan Alda in a Box dolls for Christmas. The talking doll, also known as Mr. Wonderful, has short legs, cute cuddly arms, a jutting jaw and a trainload of sayings women appear to like. When she quizzed the lady who gave her the gift about giving her a doll, the gift giver replied “You’ll love it. It’ll get you through the bowl season.”
So while I’m watching the Kellogg’s Cereal Bowl I hear a masculine voice coming from the other room “That dress doesn’t make you look fat. How could anything make you look fat?” I mute the remote, go in where my wife is trying on a dress with the doll leaning against the headboard.
You going out, I say? You’ll want to make it back before the Prego’s Spaghetti Bowl starts. Right about then she picks up the doll, presses his arm and he says “Going shopping by yourself? Why don’t you let me tag along and I’ll carry your bags.”
Sure, I’m thinking, that doll could carry a lot of bags. But, as long as he’s doing the carrying, I can be watching even more bowl games. Like the Spritzer’s Spritz Bowl or the Manischewitz Wine Long Island Tea Bowl.
When she gets back, the Prego Spaghetti Bowl is half over. She turns on the TV in the other room and, sure enough, Mr. Wonderful has a comment “Why don’t you hold the remote. As long as I’m with you I don’t care what we watch.”
|Silliman On Sports
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