By Stan Silliman
The Bold and the A-Rod
A-Rod has a cyst.
His season might be missed
Of this, we must insist.
Okay let’s back up. (Sounds of garbage truck approaching dumpster)
Of ‘roids, A-Rod confessed
Very distressed, very distressed, very distressed
His divorce, of course, not broached
Cleaners taken, wealth definitely encroached
Madonna’s comforting shoulder… really?
No, not even remotely approached
Cut short his World Games appearance
To DomRep he’s absent, no adherence
His choices right now, no clearance
So off he went to Colorado, Vail clinic
For an examination of his cyst
True, this clinic is most hip
That’s the twist, that’s the twist, that’s the twist
Turns out he also tore his labrum
No, not the one above his lip
Further down, in the hip-ital area
And right now, for rhyming sake…
Too bad his name’s not Abram
If surgery occurs, his season will be shortened
And yes, the very hip doctor Philippon recommends
That if he wants these pains to end
Remove the cyst, repair the tear, pay for Doc’s new dens
Some say if A-Rod okays this surgery
His recovery time will stretch…
For months and months and months
The word… hmm… Bo Jackson time, we fetch
Bo Jackson, huh? Avascular necrosis?
The femoral head of the hip bone affected?
Not a very tasty… diagnosis
But still, magnetic resonance detected
The only possible solution, we’ve heard
Are drugs to speed recovery
So maybe Philippon can prescribe…
Steroids? Yeah, that’s it. Absurd?
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