Swimming with sharks doesn’t faze Aussies, mate. We knew Aussies were brave.
We found this out watching Mick Dundee. This was proven even more when
Hugh Jackman decided to sing and dance during the Oscars.
What we didn’t know is that you could hold a
swimming event in shark infested waters and 500 Aussies would say “No
The annual Sydney Harbor Swim occurred last Sunday in Australia. Adam Wilson is the organizer.
Just within the last few weeks, three swimmers were
attacked by sharks… in the same waters where the Harbor Swim occurs.
Let me repeat. Three swimmers were bitten or mauled by sharks... in the
past three weeks. One of the swimmers was a Navy diver. Sharks are
swimming in the waters where 500 hairless, delicious looking
Australians plan on doing the crawl. One thousand tasty looking legs
churned up the waters right above hungry creatures.
HELLO!? Did that Richard Dryfess and Roy Scheider
movie, where they were going to need a bigger boat, ever make its way
south of the equator? Does anybody remember in that movie where the
Mayor, even after he learned about two shark attacks refused to close
the beaches… for fear of losing tourism? How about the concept… for
fear of losing tourists?
HELLO AGAIN! These swimmers are swimming in the harbor starting at the
Sydney Opera House which, by the way, is like Mecca to sharks! The
Opera House looks like giant fins… or giant jaws to sharks. Take your
pick, we don’t know which. But whatever one it is, they like
Adam Wilson refused to close the event. He said
instead of closing it he was adding shark spotters and underwater
patrols to protect entrants. Here’s Adam Wilson’s quote: “Really,
the shark spotters are not going to spot anything. They’re on the
course during the day just in case we need to help anybody out of the
water or bring them into one of the rubber boats.”
Gee, that really instills confidence, rubber boats
just in case! Like the jaws of a shark couldn’t bite through a boat
filled with air. And then what happens? Mr. Wilson goes on to say
“These are the general public swimming in this so we’ve got to make
sure for their safety more so than what’s in the water. We’re looking
after the swimmers.”
Any chance you might want to cancel the event, Adam?
That might go a little ways in looking after the public safety of the
swimmers. After all, they’re the general public. I guess we have to
expect sharks know these are only general public swimmers and therefore
not as tasty as Olympic swimmers. I think not! The sharks already know
Olympic medals don’t add anything but indigestion to their meals. And
sometimes an Olympic gold medalist with seven medals hanging from his
neck might taste like used bong water!
What good is a spotter when you have 500
participants? “Shark! Shark! Can you hear me? This event is for humans
only. Be on your way now.”
Adam, if you’re so confident, why don’t you lead the
swimmers? Better yet, Mr. Wilson, how about trailing the swimmers? Why
am I so worried, anyway? I already said Aussies are brave. You Aussie
guys don’t mind swimming with stingrays, so what are a few sharks?