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Baseball vs Hoops by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Baseball vs Hoops

         “Look what Obamaman done did.” It is Lyle again, former neighbor and hater of the current president.
    What, I ask.
    “He took over an auto company and he apologizes to them Museleums!”
    You mean Muslims as in leaders of Middle-Eastern countries?
    “Yep, them towel head guys. You can tell Obama sure ain’t Bush.”
    Why? Because Bush was baseball nut and Obama’s all about basketball?
    “Yep, Bushie was a baseball owner and Obamaman wears those shorts.”
    So you say there are different governing philosophies depending on what sport you favor? 
    “Yep, Obama is all over the place, rushing to get things done like he is on a fast break.”
    And so you’d say Bushie was more baseball, did things slow, like a pitcher stepping off the mound three or four times before making his pitch? I like that. How about we compare the two sports and maybe get a clue as to how their governance will differ:
    Baseball is rural. You need large expanses of land. Basketball is urban and all you need is a gym or a court.
    In baseball, the clock rarely runs and you seemingly can take all the time you want. In basketball, the clock is always running out. The team ahead when the clock runs out wins.
    In basketball, everyone shares the ball passing it from sweaty hands to sweaty hands. In baseball, everyone wears gloves
    In basketball, the guy from way outside can make a thee-point shot. In baseball, the guy way out in the outfield is using his cell phone.
    In basketball, you can drive the lane. In baseball, you must stay in the base paths. 
    In basketball, a good defensive player can steal the ball. In baseball, a good offensive player can steal a base.
    In basketball, players barely have clothing. In baseball, they are covered from head to toe.
    In basketball, wood is in the floor. In baseball, it is in the bat and sometimes, on the ball.
    In basketball sidelines, you sit on a bench. In baseball, you’re in a dugout.
    In basketball, they shoot balls into the hoop. In baseball, they shoot roids into the butt.
    In basketball, you’re on a court. In baseball, you’re in the field.
    In basketball, there is a salary cap. In baseball, players wear caps.
Baseball vs Hoops by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
    Now let’s compare:
    Baseball presidents tend to use their middle name or initial. Basketball presidents do not.
    Baseball presidents are quick to say “Mission accomplished.” Basketball presidents tend to say “we’ve still got a lot of work to do.”
    Baseball presidents tend to give shoulder rubs to other heads of state. Basketball presidents are too cool for that.
    Baseball presidents take time out for a seventh-inning stretch and clearing brush on a ranch. Basketball presidents work overtime.
Basketball presidents find that even though they could pass, they have to take the clutch shot. Baseball presidents can find an entire league named after them.   

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