Silliman on


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman

           Brian Bosworth and Rush Limbaugh – the two newest color commentators for this football season – bring controversy and bombast to the booth. A right winger and right ringer – ear ring, that is, could work if they can fit in with the audience. Limbaugh is on the ESPN Sunday Night Pro game and Bosworth will cover Big 12 football for TBS Sports. Bosworth has worked before. His stint as the color commentator for the XFL (some say XXXFL for vulgarity and gratuitous cheerleading) is already a thorny issue with Big 12 Commissioner Weiberg. Bosworth’s public dislike of a certain team in Austin may be an even bigger thorn. Limbaugh represents the angry white male which makes up a portion of pro football fans. He hopes to come off as the fan in the booth.

Another possible problem for both newcomers is demographics. The execs are trying to capture a growing segment of hip-hoppers to the fold and these new guys may not quite make it. But with the execs banking on them we expect to see both parties catering to this market all iced out and fresh dipped in their Phat Farm pants, tank-tops and urban jackets. Expect them to show up on B.E.T. wearing dukey ropes (gold chains) pushing their shows and free styling a rap. It could be boo-yaa but you never know. It promises to be quite a sight. Expect the Boz to go first:


Brian here, new Boz in the booth
Talking football now, hurling the truth 
Hurling the truth, hurling the truth
My flicks went to vids for a new crop of kids
Who ain’t never scoped my football: smashmouth
Trashmouth, kick ya in your ash-mouth
Pound ya back, hit ya in the ‘zack 
They need know I was more college than pro
I made quarterbacks suffer, 
They seen nobody tougher, buffer or rougher
And that’s the gospel y’know
I’ll be mad truth in the booth
But it ain’t gonna be no Matthew or Luke
Cause Burnt Orange makes me puke
Burnt Orange makes me puke


I’m Rush, you people. You listen to me
On radio. And now TV.
I’m full of me. My pop-u-lar-i-ty
So large (like me)
You can’t stop me … from a-lovin’ me
I’m Rushhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Boz Rush

I’m Rush you see, all you S.O.B.’s
You animal lovers, you lover of trees
And you little wimmin’ – you FEMI-NAZees
All you bleedin’ heart Demo’s (with the little D’s)
I’ll stomp you with my vocab-u-lary
I’m Rushhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I’m Rush you see. And I’m a-lovin’ me
I’m Archie B. without the fam-i-ly
I’m all football now and you can’t fade me
You better sit in your crib and listen to me
Even you libs, you Hillary wannabes
I’m Rushhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I’m not sure that’ll do it for Rush. He might need a few gold caps.

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