By Stan Silliman
Brett Favre: Did Dancing With The Stars Miss A Bet?
Brett Favre: So is he or is he not... going dancing? First, he is. Kurt Warner recommends him. We see videos of him doing his "Ice Ice Baby" stuff. Then he isn't. ABC comes out with their "family show" malarkey and poor Brett is left in the corner. What's a narcissist to do? Nobody puts Bretty in the corner.
Showbiz Spy reports that a DWTS show insider says Brett has little chance of making the cast given his propensity to camera text things. The show insider went on to say "Favre wasn't exactly rolling in family values right now."
To that we say "Have they seen Cheryl Burke's rear end?" Followed by "or Edyta's everything?"
We still think Brett might make a good contestant and wonder what he'd be dancing if he were on the show. Hmmm? Since we may never get to enjoy the "Favrelo" or "The Running Brett" we thought it might be nice to imagine. Plus you might like a few of the things we've pieced together.
One day during practice, Brett starts dancing to "Ice Ice Baby" and if Mr. Van Winkle happened to be sleeping at the time, this probably woke him up. There is the opportunity to free style on DWTS if you get far enough. We think Brett might have a little wiggle and the Pros, the best dance instructors in the world, will make use of his talents.
Had Brett Favre been on Stars, he might have drawn Cheryl Burke as his teacher/partner. He can freestyle to Hammer with one hand on a cell phone. Cheryl Burke can show him some moves.Reconsider, ABC, hook him up with Cheryl.
Beautiful blonde Kym Johnson taught Warren Sapp how to dance and took him all the way to the finals.Warren Sapp is a lineman and a big, girthy one at that. Brett Favre is a flatbelly comparably. Kym should be able mold Brett into a dancing machine. Come on, ABC, hook Brett up with Kym.
Even more football players were on the show. Jason Taylor was on there, and he's not even retired! And he was dancing with another Eastern European beauty, Edyta Sliwinska. Edyta wears skimpy dance costumes... well. She's not on the show right now but she might come back to instruct Brett. Come on, ABC, hire Edyta back so she instruct Brett. And then put Brett in your show.
Again, Cheryl danced with another football player, Mr. 85. Chad Ochocinco lasts for ten weeks because Cheryl is a good teacher. Chad is a wide receiver. Jerry Rice, also. More quarterbacks are needed. Retired ones, who can dance to "Ice, Ice Baby." That's a hint, ABC. We saw all these other football players on DWTS. Did any of them sing about "Pants on the Ground?" I didn't think so. Then why were they chosen when a perfectly good washed-up quarterback with the ability to sing "Pants on the Ground" is available.
You know how sometimes Stars are chosen for their singing expertise? And then many times the Stars are brought back to provide musical accompaniment to the dances with their singing talent? What if they choreographed a number to "Pants on the Ground" and everyone is doing the "Pants on the Ground" dance? You wouldn't call Ghostsbusters to help out in that case, you'd call Brett. And before you call him, you need to have him on the show. That's another hint, ABC.
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