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Brutally Honest T-Wolves Ads Refreshing by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Brutally Honest T-Wolves Ads Refreshing

    “Will we challenge for the NBA championship this year? Not Likely!”

    Refreshing honesty in a sports ad? What’s going on? Whatever it is, we say bravo, good for you, Timberwolves! Now keep it up with your transparency. Dazzle us with your frankness. Surprise us with your candor.
    “We know we suck rotten eggs;  we’re not lowering our ticket prices!”
    “You want to see scoring records? Come to a T-Wolves game and watch our opponents!”
    “Yeah, we admit dealing Kevin Garnett was dumb. Hey… we’re the T-Wolves.”

    The T-Wolves took out a full page ad on September 13th in the Minneapolis Star Tribune with a long open letter telling their fans that, yeah, we’re bad but we’ve got plans to improve, so hang in there with us.
    If only other sports entities were this frank we, as fans, would enjoy it more. Cut it with the politic, lay the real on us. We can handle it.

    Can you imagine the Dallas Mavericks using the same strategy? We’d appreciate it. What if they came with: “Yeah, Jason and Dirk are older than dirt. Come see them before they need a walker!”
    “Our billionaire owner is a dufus nerd. He still would like your money!”

    Or wouldn’t be cool if the Cowboys used some of the T-Wolves honesty?
 “Come out to see Tony Romo. You might spot one of his good looking girlfriends!”
    “This year our defense will be as tight as Jerry Jones face.”

    How about if the Knicks came off brutally honest? Can you imagine?
    “We’re as bad as the Empire State Building is tall. We know how much you enjoy booing us!”

    This honesty fad will catch on. Everyone will revamp their ads. All sports teams will start fessing. Can you imagine seeing this ad in the Detroit News? “Yes, we do not have a Detroit Lions cheerleading squad. Our team doesn’t deserve one.”
    “If you’re still employed, come watch the Lions this week.  It’s Detroit. Next week might be too late.”
Brutally Honest T-Wolves Ads Refreshing by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
    Even the Miami Heat can get in on the trend:
    “Yes, we tripled the ticket prices. We need money for all the extra basketballs.”
    “Buy your season tickets early… before anyone knows we can’t play together.”

    Nah, telling the truth about the most hated team in the NBA won’t fly… or will it? We’ll ask our PR friend.
He says to zip it on the frankness.  He says we shouldn’t finish this column.
I say to heck with him. He says the T-Wolves are dummies for starting all this.
I say they’re not dummies, just inept and proud of it. He says they must be doing something right because they did get mentioned in Silliman on Sports.
I say “Really? You think it’s that big a deal, being in Silliman on Sports?”
He says sure and then he assures me he’s being honest… very honest… BRUTALLY honest.

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