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Curling Songs  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Curling Songs

    Did you have Winters Olympics fever? Were you like me? I had it so bad I kept a stocking cap in the refrigerator so I didn’t boil over.
    And how about that curling?  Did it get to you? I found myself walking around the house affecting a goofy Italian accent pretending to be a bocce-ball player “I love-a me-a some-a curling…”
    Did the fever make you recite idiotic curling riddles, like “How do keep Canadian bacon from curling? You take away its brooms.”
    Are you still singing those curling songs? You didn’t know about them? That’s where we can help. We’ve been researching the internet for curling songs. Here’s one just popped up. It’s called “Frankie and Johnnie Were Curlers”

    Frankie and Johnnie were curlers
    They were into highlights all day
    Oh, Frankie and Johnnie were curlers
    They got married… out Iowa way

    Hmmm? Doesn’t mention rocks or the Skip or other curler terms. I’ll keep looking. Here’s one and keep in mind these terms. The stone is called “the Rock” and center of the colorful target is called “the House”. The captain of the curling team is known as “the Skip”. Jonathan Coulton uses those terms in his song “Curl”.

    Somewhere in the darkness, there’s a man they call the Skipper… dreaming of gold
    Put the rock in the house. Gotta keep those Canadians down

    Here’s another one from Davy Donaldson called “You Got to Have Stone”
    You got to have stone. You got to have stone.
    Big, big, big stones. If you want to sweep her off her feet
    If you don’t want to be alone… you got to have stone

    The Canadian group called The Dik Van Dykes in 2003 had a song “Curling”
with lyrics like:
    Curlers are a ready bunch of boozers and carausers…
    who are afraid of linoleum and throw rocks at houses
Curling Songs  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
One of my favorites is “Tournament of Hearts” by the Weakerthans. It’s named after the Canadian women’s curling championship sung by a guy in a curling league which is very much like a bowling league. Sadly, the guy is lamenting his inability to talk to women:

    Now the lounge is full of farmers for the 7:30 draw
    All the championship banners going yellow on the wall
    Like my name when it gets closer to last call

    Some-a good-a curling song, no? You gotta problem wit dat? Ciao.

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