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Becks To La La Thanks to Tom Tom? by Stan Silliman


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Becks To La La Thanks to Tom Tom?


   David Beckham leaves the Real and joins the Galaxy.

    In plainer language the world’s best known “football” player leaves Europe (Real Madrid) to play Major League Soccer for the Los Angeles Galaxy. However, if you consider Madrid as the grounded “old world” and Los Angeles as this outer space enclave, we couldn’t invent a better metaphor. 

    But wait, the fun doesn’t stop just with the fact the Los Angeles team is named Galaxy.
Further investigation reveals a major recruiter in convincing Becks and Posh to relocate is Tom Cruise and wife Katie. In other words, the spaciest of the spaced-out Angelinos convinces “grounded” Brits to trek among the stars.

    Not fun enough for you? Okay, here’s another tidbit: part of the enticement for moving is said to be a chance for the Beckhams to join the Scientology Church.

    Now, I’m not one to make fun of any “religion,” especially one based on “science” and additionally one populated by such brilliant individuals. How brilliant are the individuals, you ask?  All we can say is david Beckham calls his friend, Tom Tom, “a very wise man.”

    Now is it getting fun? Here are more tidbits: Victoria Beckham is lined up to play an alien bride in the Tom Cruise-backed movie “The Thetan,” about an immortal spiritiual being Scientologists believe to be present in all humans. The Beckhams have checked out a Beverly Hills house five doors down from Tom and Katie. The house is purported to have very bouncy couches.
Becks To La La Thanks to Tom Tom? by Stan Silliman
    David Beckham signed a salary and endorsement contract paying him $ 250 million for five years. Yes, a guy who only started five out of 16 games this year will be the highest paid team athlete of all time. So again, where better to be than in Los Angeles, the biggest American market without professional football, unless you count the USC Trojans. The MLS expects Beckham to be a huge boon for American soccer. We think it could be dangerous (see below).

    Back to the Tom and Katie and David and Posh neighbor possibilities. Some have supposed Tom’s goal in bringing in David and Victoria as neighbors is to get into Posh’s pants. That’s a bit of risky business, we think. However, others, including the naughty London tabloids have speculated it wasn’t Posh’s pants Tom was trying to get into.

    Should we feel sorry for the British as two of their idols trip off to Beverly? Yes, if only for the fact this moves swipes the Brits of two of their favorite forms of pub humor – Becks and Posh jokes. This would be like us shipping all our blondes overseas and then being left in a politically correct nightmare with nothing left to joke about. I’m worried the Brits will be left with a whole country of sourpusses. If the Brits have nothing to laugh at, their upper lips stiffen up and freeze. Folks, we don’t want that. British laughter was our last line of defense against global warming. Here’s how it worked. The Brits downed their cold brews in the pubs, told their “Becks and Poshes” let out hearty but cold-breathed laughs which went out to the North Sea and helped cool the icebergs and the polar cap. If these beer-blasted laughs subside, we could be goners. Especially if Beckham makes soccer so popular, US soccer moms log more miles than truckers. I knew there was a reason we’ve been holding back soccer: self preservation.

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