By Stan Silliman
Eagles Flying Not So High
We don’t know how much worse the Philadelphia Eagles’ season can go.
First, to rectify mistakes years ago, Donovan McNabb’s mother is signed to push her “Chunky Soup” onto the Eagles players. If you read our article on February 13th, 2003 entitled “Chunky Soup Ads Backfiring” about the subsequent injuries to Terrell Davis, Jerome Bettis and Kurt Warner (all spokesmen for Campbell’s) you knew that was a bad idea.
Second, the Eagles pay an ungodly amount to sign Terrell Owens.
Easy mistake, you’re in the football business and Owens is easily the most physically talented person at catching the strange shaped “ball.” Then Owens insults the guy who is supposed to throw the ball to him. Then Owens, after he punches out management, is suspended.
Third, while playing against Dallas, McNabb throws an interception to Roy Williams and then with Donovan’s mom not there to cut off Williams, McNabb suffers a season ending injury.
Fourth, with the Eagles season turning to dust, last Sunday an Eagles fan is busted for trying to spread ashes on the field. Christopher Noteboom, the fan, told police the ashes were of his dead mother, a loyal Eagles fan.
The dead mom spread on the field may be a metaphor for the season… certainly more a metaphor than Momma McNabb running all over the place feeding the players Chunky Soup. Much more cremated than Cream of Tomato – that’s the Eagles.
A team spokeswoman says the Eagles have gotten requests to spread ashes in the past but has never allowed it. No need to ask why. If everyone who wished to spread ashes were allowed, every time a player is tackled, he’d end with licking up loved ones. There’d be a face full of someone’s mother or father after each play. And then fans in the stadium would feel bad when a player is dusting himself off thinking “Hey, be careful, that’s my mom you’re spitting out.”
We, at Silliman on Sports, agree with this. Please, no spreading loved ones on losing football teams fields. It’s disrespectful and puts too much pressure on the teams. If anything, follow the Jimmy Hoffa tradition and bury him or her in the end zone. In the end zone, a player is rarely face down in the dust, or, in the case of the Eagles, even there.
And we don’t want to see fans get sneaky about dumping mom or dad on the field. Just don’t do it. Don’t sneak Pops into the Gatorade thinking when the team dumps the bucket on the coach Pops will end up on the field. Pops will probably get drunk first. Of course, if Pops was a fan who liked to get drunk then… No, take that thought back. If you drop Pops into the Gaterode, he will get drunk and you can guarantee he’ll end up in the sewer system and that’s not how you want to remember him.
On the other hand, that's about where the Eagles season is right now.
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