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Frazier vs Frazier  by Stan Silliman     humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Frazier vs. Frazier  

      Smokin’ Joe vs. Sister Smoke.

    Father-daughter bouting it out in Philadelphia Court. Joe Frazier sues his daughter, Jacquelyn Frazier-Lyde, who is also his former attorney for return of his business records, investment accounts and royalty rights.

    First off, you hate to see fathers and daughters fighting. Not right when Alec Baldwin and daughter does it. Not right when two former boxers like Joe and Jacqui go after it. It’s especially not right when the lawyer getting sued is a candidate for municipal court judge.

You think Judge Judy is tough? How’d you like to go up against Judge Jacqui - a former college basketball star at American University who tried her hand at boxing at the age of 39 and mowed through ten opponents losing only to Laila Ali in eight rounds? A 24 yr-old Ali at that, long legged, darn good dancer well worthy of her nickname of “She-Bee-Stinging.” Did we mention Judge Jacqui is the mother of three kids? No, I don’t think you’d want to sass her in the courtroom. Did we mention she took on the Philadelphia police accusing them of excessive force during her dad’s arrest on drunk driving charges… and won? Did we mention she won this case after taking a few days off from training to box 198 pound Annie Brooks who was ten years her junior? Did we mention that a few days after winning the case she landed an uppercut to Brooks jaw, winning in the first round? Do you still think you want to talk back to Judge Jacqui?

Perhaps the best athlete to ever enter women’s boxing, Jacqui, now at the age of 45, is still in top shape. When we say best athlete, we mean scoring over 1000 points in her college basketball career before heading off to Villanova for her law degree and between the two schools played on their jujitsu, lacrosse, softball and field hockey teams. Sister Smoke, a name given to her by Muhammad Ali, probably has good reason to withhold Joe’s records. On the other hand, Dad, who owns a gym, a restaurant and three other businesses wants to have more control and more take home from his enterprises. One part of me hopes they can settle amicably, the other part wants to see a courtroom that is… uh… smoking.
Frazier vs Frazier  by Stan Silliman     humor sports comedy cartoons articles
That part wants to see the circus, the crazy headlines, the puns and the pugilists in suits doing legal battle. If Jacqui happens to be a judge when the action takes place, all the juicier. If  mountains of paper work arrive in certain envelopes it will be “The Thrilla’ in Manila II.”
Howard Cosell impersonators will vie for position outside the courtroom and you’ll hear things like “She hit him with a cross-examination to the body. The Champ, stunned by these personal blows, staggers back to his corner.” Famous Philly native and boxer on screen, Sly Stallone, will be called as a witness. Not so much for eloquent testimony, because no one will understand a thing he mumbles, but more for the music that accompanies him as he enters the courthouse.

    That’s what I’m thinking, a circus worthy of a Don King pay-for-view promotion. Of course, both Fraziers despise Don King and if he tries to get the rights to this event I foresee a pummeling. Father and daughter smoking Fraziers teaming up for a beat-down with such combustibility, Don King’s hair catches on fire. That’s a smoking pay-for-view event I’d pay to see.

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