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Guliani/Rodman Ticket the Answer? by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Guliani/Rodman Ticket the Answer?

         If Rudy Guliani gets the republican nomination he will have Dennis Rodman as his vice-presidential candidate. We’re thinking, like you, Dennis Rodman?! To be a vice-presidential candidate does one have to be that familiar with VICE? The Dennis Rodman??  The basketball playing weird-hairdo-cross-dressing Dennis Rodman?!

    When we suggested many of the presidential candidates should team with sports figures as their running mates we didn’t think Rudy Guliani would be the first one to heed our call. And, man-o-man, we would have never guessed Rodman.

    Okay we can see where he might be coming from. Rudy’s a little light on the hip-hop vote. Also, Rudy is probably not so strong in the Afro-American-with-bleached-blonde-and-little-
emblem-things-cut-in-their-hair demographic. Yeah, we can understand how he wants to pull in that group. But we thought Rudy already had the cross-dressing transvestite crowd in his corner. We heard Marv Albert was voting for Rudy. Isn’t this overkill?

    And pandering to the “guys with multiple wives and multitudes of girlfriends” vote, here’s another one where Rudy was way ahead. If he’s going for the gropers demographic why didn’t he just ask Arnold to run with him? Oh, you say Arnold wasn’t born here. So now it becomes clearer and you tell us Mike Tyson has been enlisted to sew up the gropers. Okay. It’s starting to make sense.

    We invited Rodman in for an interview and he consented since we were the first to suggest the tie-ups with athletes as running mate thing. He is excited about the prospect of being vice-president:

Guliani/Rodman Ticket the Answer? by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
    SOS: Dennis, we heard it said that you being on Guliani’s ticket will open doors for Rudy into the black community and culture. Will the hip-hop crowd swing over to your side?
    Rodman:  I’m not sure. Black culture is something I don’t relate to much at all. I date
white women. Two of my wives were white. I have blonde hair. As far as rap music and whether voters will turn out for the Rude, I don’t know.

    SOS:  But don’t you think that by having you on the ticket you’ll be able to bridge a gap between the hip-hop community and points Rudy is trying to get across. Maybe mend some bridges brought on by Rudy’s tough on crime policy.
    Rodman: You do know my favorite band is Pearl Jam, don’t you? I know some rappers and I understand what they are talking about. But I think rap is less about educating people about the black community and more about making money.

    SOS: So why did you hook up with Rudy?
    Rodman: The Rude’s the Dude. He’s not afraid to put on pretty dresses but if you’re a terrorist he’ll shoot your ass.

    SOS: Do you think you can be a good campaigner? What do you bring to the table that is going to aid Rudy’s ticket?
    Rodman: New York City was down. Hit hard, man. Madonna was weeping and Rudy brought them back. They REBOUNDED back. Who is better to talk about rebounding than me??
Who led the world in rebounding? The world! Rudy has the guts to have his girl friend live right there in the Gracie Mansion with his wife. And I have the guts to sleep with every woman in every town, if necessary, to get the vote out.  Together, Rudy and I can rebound this country.

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