you ever ask that? Whatever happened to the Hanson Brothers – the
nerd-glasses wearing, toy-car-loving, foul mouthed goons from the 1977
cult hockey movie, Slapshot?
No, Sonia, they didn’t come back as a soda-pop
singing boy band in the late 90s. That was Hanson. We’re talking about
Steve, Jack and Jeff not Isaac, Taylor and Zac. Did I just remember the names of the singing Hansons? Shoot me, please.
Another thing, Sonia, if you remember Slapshot
at all, you’ll know it was the raunchiest, rowdiest sports movie of all
time. If you know that, how can you confuse a candy band from Tulsa
with the candy-machine-smashing hockey brothers?
“When you have no one to walk beside you… I will come to you”
No, Sonia, the hockey playing Hanson brothers did NOT sing those lyrics! No!
The Hanson brothers said “F-----g machine took my quarter!”
The guys who appeared as the Hanson brothers in the
movie are still making personal appearances, mostly in Canada. So when
they tell people they’re all from Minnesota most of the Canadians at
the Kiwanis Club or the Moose Lodge (not real moose. Yeah, I know, it’s
Canada, but they’re still not real moose) are so disappointed. They’re
even more disappointed to find out that these guys are not really
Hanson brothers. Yes, the guys in the movie were real hockey players,
minor league mostly but with some time in the NHL. Yes, the Hanson
brothers were based on three real hockey brothers, the Carlson
brothers, two of which wore glasses. And yes, two of the guys playing
the Hanson brothers in the movie were Carlson brothers - Jeff and
Steve. This is where it gets weird. Jeff and Steve played Hansons,
characters inspired by themselves. The third Hanson brother was played
by Dave Hanson. That’s beautiful in its confusion.
What’s even more beautiful in our opinion, is that
the Hanson brothers and their nuances, their idiosyncrasies, like
wrapping their hands in aluminum foil were all created by a writer who
never played professional hockey. Heck, she never even played college
hockey. At least we can’t find where Smith College had a hockey team.
Nancy Dowd, a French major, whose brother was a minor league
hockey player, penned this rowdy masterpiece based on one little piece
of information: Her brother called to tell her his team was for sale.
And then when asked who owned the team he played for, he replied he had
no idea. That one question, not knowing who owned you was the genesis for her story.
It’s easy to see why the Hansons resonated with so
many hockey fans. They were just so real. But again, when you create
characters based on real people and then have two of the real brothers
you based the characters on play the parts, it ought to be real. Then
when the third actor playing a Carlson brother named Hanson was
actually another professional hockey player whose real name was Hanson,
Dave Hanson, 53, the only Hanson brother actually
named Hanson, today manages a sports facility at Robert Morris
University near Pittsburg. Dave has two daughters and a son, Christian,
who is a 6’4 225-pound hockey playing center at Notre
Jeff Carlson, 52, who played Jeff Hanson, is an electrician in Muskegon, Michigan.
Steve Carlson, 51, runs a power skating school in Kenosha, Wisconsin.
See, Sonia, the hockey Hansons are in no way the
singing Hansons. To which she answers “Dad, I was only two when Slapshot came out. How would I know?”