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Herschel Walker - MMA: Marriage Or Nightmare? by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Herschel Walker - MMA: Marriage Or Nightmare?

             Herschel Walker – 47 -- has announced he’ll be engaging in professional Mixed Martial Arts by signing with Strikeforce. Everyone I know, including one of his trainers, says “Bad idea.”

    When you think of Herschel Walker, you think of one of the greatest college running backs of all time, more powerful than a Mack truck and twice as fast. You think of one of the hardest trainers of all time, the 1500 per day pushups and 1000 per day setups guy, the guy who did karate and tae kwon do training in water, the guy with a 6th degree tae kwon do black belt.   The guy who, while in the Ft. Worth ballet, could lift a ballerina with one hand while on point,  the Olympic bobsledder who also happened to be one of the most polite athletes of all time.

    Ballet? Bobsledding? Polite athlete? Do any of those words fit with Mixed Martial Arts?
MMA is legalized street fighting, thuggery with uniforms, where you can wrestle someone to the ground and then slug him or kick him when he’s down. Why even need a referee? MMA is so far out in the left field of sport, it’s on SPIKE TV, if that tells you anything. Here are some other words not fitting with MMA: 47 years old!

    Some say Walker is disrespecting the sport by even thinking he can be competitive. Some say he got hit by too many 260# linebackers and if he persists he could end up like Ali. Some think he ought to start with a Toughman Competition and leave MMA to the big boys. Others point to Randy Couture, who is 46 and very competitive.

    One trainer, Dan Solloway, who worked out Walker on underwater Hydrotone strength training during Walker’s time with the Dallas Cowboys, says Walker doesn’t belong in MMA. “He’s too smart. He’s a successful businessman, a former 4-point student who ought to know not to chance it in the octagon,” says Solloway, now a broadcaster on a health oriented radio show. “Maybe one of Herschel’s other personalities is pursuing this mid-life activity. Ummm, don’t tell Herschel I mentioned that.”

    Oh yeah, the multiple-personality thing. Don’t worry, Dan, Herschel wrote a book, he’s in the open about his disorder. In fact he speaks to groups on the subject. And even when he’s rehearsing his speech… he’s still speaking to groups. Sorry, Herschel, don’t roundhouse kick me.
Herschel Walker - MMA: Marriage Or Nightmare? by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
    Other football players have transitioned into the MMA – Marcus Jones, Michael Westbrook and Johnnie Morton. Morton didn’t do so well while the others held their own although both are much younger than Walker. However, neither Jones nor Westbrook have as many personalities as Walker. What if one of Walker’s personalities was that of a Texas Ranger? Would that send roundhouse kick fear throughout the MMA community? 

    We have it on good authority Herschel is full into this project. After discussing it with himselves, he hired the best trainers by working out at the American Kickboxing Academy in San Jose, California. This is the same camp producing many UFC and Strikeforce standouts. We have to ask how many of them won a Heisman or competed in the Olympics or played in two Pro Bowls or won American Superstars two years in a row or danced the Nutcracker or got to the 8th round of Celebrity Apprentice? Hmmm? Don’t count a guy out just because of age. Kirk Douglas just did a play at 92. Larry King has fathered kids at the age of 105. Don’t be surprised if Herschel surprises. On the other hand he could listen to us: Use your brains and… Run!

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