on Sports
Jamie Farr


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman

    The LPGA Jamie Farr Owens Corning Classic in Sylvania, Ohio has so many story lines and potential corny headlines we know not where to begin.
Perhaps at the beginning?

   “Klinger, where do you think you’re going with those golf clubs?” snaps Colonel Potter.
   “Why, to play golf Sir,” replies Corporal Klinger played by Jamie Farr in the popular TV series M.A.S.H.
   “But, but, … dang it, Corporal, you’re wearing a dress, ” exclaims Potter.
   “From the front tees, Sir.”

   Farr, who didn’t take up golf until M.A.S.H. went out of production, figured it would be a nice pastime. Little did he know his little pastime would become all consuming. Farr first lent his name to the LPGA tourney in 1984 on the condition the tourney benefits all the community charities. Two thousand people attended this year’s tournament kick-off dinner with bids on charity auctioned items exceeding the amount given to his first tourney winner.  

    Back to M.A.S.H. a series set in Korea where Klinger went out and golfed badly from the ladies tees. Farr still plays badly but can we say it’s a tad ironic twenty players from Korea (all playing extremely well) are now in Farr’s tourney playing from the ladies’ tees. Possibly some of them are playing in a dress. Besides the well known Gloria Park and See Re Pak, the younger lesser known Koreans are making their marks. The leaders after three rounds are Hee-Won Han and Jeong Jang , two of the many “Seoul Sisters” on the tour.

    Another angle the LPGA is running with on the tournament is the “Pink Panther” mascot. Owens Corning, the tourney sponsor, uses the panther in all their ads and it so happens one of the hot, young LPGA stars, Paula Creamer, with her pink tees, pink bag, and pink clothes also goes by Pink Panther. Were there photo ops, you ask? Did Jamie Farr’s proboscis of a snout find it’s way between the two “Pink Panthers”? Did the mascot Pink Panther squeeze the Paula Pink Panther a little too much?  Did she end up having fiberglass coming out her ears? Did Paula put on a private clinic for Owens Corning customers? If you answered yes to all these questions, you win a piece of advice: Don’t try eating the pink insulation. It’s not cotton candy.    

    Farr, who was 71 on July 1st, counts Peter Sellers and Abbott and Costello as among his comedy influences. The Pink Panther thing makes a nice tie-in and should one of the Koreans win it we may have “Who’s on First” potential. I could see Jamie Farr and Alan Alda kicking the old routine around.
    “So you host a women’s pro golf tournament. Who’s leading?”
    “Wait a moment. I thought you said this was a women’s event.”
    “It is.”
    “So who came in second?”
    “No. Who finished way down in the pack.”
    “Were there a lot of birdies?”
    “No, just one Birdie… Kim.”
    “Now hold it. It’s a women’s tournament but “he” won. They only shoot one birdie and second place was way down in the “pack”? Tell me which golfer won second and don’t tell me it was a “he.”
Jamie Farr

    “I won’t. Pak was second.”
    “This is getting confusing. It’s a women’s tournament but a man wins? Only one birdie and the pack is in second place? I’m convinced, now. When you were on the show asking for a section eight… you should have GOT IT!!”

    One final thing, we know Heather Bowie won in a playoff over Grace Park (for those who care). Hee-Won turned out to be an Ah-So Run but it was more fun the way we had it.
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