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What's It Like To Be Jimmy Goldstein, NBA's Superfan For A Day?  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
What's It Like To Be Jimmy Goldstein, NBA's Superfan For A Day?

Jimmy Goldstein carries a business card with three words on it: Fashion, Architecture, Basketball.

Rarely do you ever hear of someone whipping out a business card with their passions on them rather than their business. Would it be a better world if everyone did this?

Cowboys could give out cards reading "Ropin'. Ridin'. Boot Scootin'."
Rednecks would have their own cards: "Fighting. Farting. NASCAR!"
Donald Trump's card would read "Me! Me! Me!"

Jimmy Goldstein has a business, real estate, that he talks about very little. It affords him a lifestyle to pursue his passions: fashion, architecture, NBA basketball.

All of his interests are expensive.

In the first, he attends fashion shows worldwide, knows the designers and meets many Russian models.

In the second, he owns the coolest modern house in Hollywood and is constantly adding to it.

In the third, he attends NBA games throughout the league, including close to thirty playoff games always with front row seats and full access passes. Like we said, expensive lifestyle, bolstered by self-created celebrity coupled with an insatiable zest for his passions.

Here's an idea for an NBA related contest. The proceeds can go to charity. Some of Jimmy's favorite clothing designers, like Gucci and Cavalli can sponsor "Be Jimmy Goldstein for a Day."

Set the time as 8:00 am one morning to 8:00 am the following morning.

You show up at 8:00 am at the house at his Beverly Hills house designed by John Lautner overlooking Benedectine Canyon. The greenery is lush, tropical, overwhelmingly aromatic. But you don't have time yet to take it all in as you're whisked inside and guided to the main bedroom flanked with full glass walls overlooking the canyon with the view of a far off cityscape.

Just for a brief moment, you climb into bed, rub up against the Egyptian sheets, then turn and spot the Russian model at the end of the bed.  No hanky-panky allowed. You've won a contest to simulate Jimmy Goldstein for a day. You don't get to violate the Russian model. Besides, there might be two of them. Models are skinny and the bed is double king wide. Four or five models could fit in the bed and not touch each other.
What's It Like To Be Jimmy Goldstein, NBA's Superfan For A Day?  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
Now, you're asked to leave the bed. Yes, the Russian model gives you a nice smile but someone is cooking breakfast in an exquisite stainless-glass kitchen with the smell of ostrich eggs and corn-beefed hash beckoning. You put on the PJs, slip into the wolverine slippers with the T.G.I.F. insignia (Toes Go In First) and trot down to breakfast. Heck, you don't know, maybe some NBA players have stopped by. You'll be surprised just like Jimmy is some days. You do note construction going on. Something is always being added to the house. You may be asked for a material or location recommendation, on this, your one day to be Jimmy Goldstein.

After breakfast, you shower and then permitted closet visitation. Here you'll find hundreds of boots: sharkskin, snakeskin, lizard and more Gucci leather jackets than you'll find in Milan. You'll be asked to pick-boots, jacket, suede designer pants by Galliano, Cavalli, or Montana, scarf, ventilated tee-shirt and Italian style Stetson. Now, here's the tricky part. If you're not Jimmy's size the clothes will be pre-purchased in your size but you'll only have a couple of choices.

You kill some time, check out the construction, tell them you're Jimmy for today, fire a couple of sheet rockers, go for a swim, lay back, press a button, watch a TV that popped down from the ceiling, then head off in the Rolls for a tennis match. Before the match, you pick two friends to go to the Lakers game tonight. You've got three court side seats. You can take one of the models and a buddy or just be loyal and take two buddies. Or there's list of movie stars you can call to see if they want to go court side. Only one caveat: you and your friends must root for the Mavericks, or whoever the Lakers are playing. You're being Jimmy for a day.

Sound like fun? You give out a few autographed gold basketballs during the day. You play tennis at a nice club. Guys come over and shoot hoops on your goal with NBA official glass backboard. A few models swim in your pool. You spend an hour making a wardrobe selection. You and your buds roll to the game in a Rolls. You walk up to Jack and tell him you're Jimmy for a day.

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