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LPGA & Youth Baseball in Cahoots  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
LPGA & Youth Baseball in Cahoots

       Just as Barach Obama speaks of ending discriminations two sports discrimination events spring forth. One is a case where Jericho Scott, a 9-year-old Youth League baseball player, was barred from his league because his fastball was too fast. The other is a ruling by the LPGA  suspending players for not being proficient in English.     

    Just when you think league administrators couldn’t be more idiotic you find out how idiotic you are… for short selling their idiocy.  It’s like we had forgotten our favorite car company really did bring out an Edsel. It’s like we forgot you could make the finals of a major beauty contest because you knew the children of South Africa could help us serve bar-b-q in Iraq.

Both of these newly minted laws essentially are disguised ploys to eliminate competition. The barred kid with the 40-mile-an-hour fastball, Jericho Scott, committed an unpardonable law in this particular league, he refused to play for the perennial front running team which also happens to be sponsored by the league’s president. In the LPGA, the Koreans have been dominating almost all events. Take that back… ALL events. So, in both cases, somebody has been too good.

    Let’s be clear. Jericho Scott is very accurate. He has not hit a single batter. But last week, when Scott showed up on the mound after being ordered to play another position, the opposing team packed up their bats and mitts and went home. Notice I didn’t mention balls?

    That’s because the players, the coaches and the league have no balls, just like the LPGA will have no balls if they insist on enforcing their English only law. And for both sports, you need balls. Yes, ladies … and pre-pubescent kiddos, you NEED balls. The LPGA should know that NO major U.S. sports league require players to speak English, including the golf tours of the PGA or the ATP. 

    Here’s a hint to the LPGA: professional golfers can afford interpreters.
LPGA & Youth Baseball in Cahoots  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
    Here’s a question for the New Haven, Connecticut Youth Baseball League: Is this how you teach values to young ballplayers? That it’s right not to face your fears? Do your players still go out for ice cream after spending the whole game cowering in the dugout?

    By the way, we checked and we found out plenty of 9-10 year-olds youth league pitchers who throw above 40-miles-per-hour. Some even hurl it above the 55 mph level. But actually I can sympathize with the knee-clacking little ballplayers. I remember our high school team traveling out to Balko in the Oklahoma panhandle to face a 95 mph flamethrower. The only difference was this rocket-arm, instead of being accurate like the young Mr. Scott, was wacky wild. And not only wild, he wore coke-bottle glasses. The kind where, when he takes them off to wipe his forehead, an entire ant den catches on fire. I remember one time his glasses fell off his head and he lined up on the mound as if to pitch to second base...  while I was on-deck. I called time out to help him find his glasses… and ran out to the mound to make sure he didn’t step on them. As I handed him his glasses I whispered “Just throw it outside. I’ll swing at every one.”
    That’s the lesson the Youth League should understand. Don’t let these kids grow up to be me.


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