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Lawyers: Don't Mess With “March Madness” by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Lawyers: Don't Mess With “March Madness”

        If you’re a biz planning a big “March Madness” promotion, think again. Do so and you’ll find the NCAA legal eagles knocking on your door for trade mark infringement.
Even if your name is March and you’re selling off estate items belonging to beloved actor Fredric March and the bargains you are offering are absolutely “Madness.”

    “Sorry, ma’am, we don’t care if his name is March. We’ve issued a C & D order and are going to have to ask you to step away from the fedora.”

    You’ve been warned. Mess with the NCAA and you’ll be hearing from their enforcement attorneys, the prestigious law firm of Loeb and Loeb. And we don’t have to tell you about the ears on those guys!
    What guys?
    The Loeb brothers, the elder Loeb brother specifically. He has those hangy-downy thingies just below his ears.
    Big ear rings?
    No, but his little ear bothers him! 

    How will this impact recession hit companies who depend on a March Madness tie-in for an annual spike in sales? It could hurt small businesses. We found a small entrepreneur in little Lucy Luckenball at her Laramie Lemonade Lounge.
    L.L.:     I’m Lucy. Welcome to the Laramie Lounge. Lighten your load here. No lactose, legumes, larvae or liquor, just lots and lots of luscious, liquidy, lip smacking, lemonade.
    S.O.S.:  Sounds lemonylicious.

    S.O.S.: This is nice, little Lucy Luckenball, a TV set for your lemonade customers. I like the looks of your Little Laramie Lemonade Lounge. Somewhat luxurious, it is. So, if you can’t use “March Madness” in your blurbs, lay out your likelihood for success.
    L.L.:   Low. Looking really low.
Lawyers: Don't Mess With “March Madness” by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
    S.O.S.: So all your lemonade loving Laramie lounge lizards will likely look elsewhere?
    L.L.:    Liable to.
    S.O.S.: So if they don’t hear about your “March Madness” ads your location lacks largess?
    L.L.:   Largely.

    S.O.S.: So what about a restraining order? On the grounds you’re a kid and can’t afford the Loeb and Loeb litigation? Limit their legal larceny by leveraging the lasting love of your local Laramie loyals. 
    L.L.:   Leaving aside I lack the lettuce for a lawsuit, I’m just a little lady. Leave me alone.
    Oh, well. We can’t help everyone. Now, where’s that number for Loeb and Loeb Attorneys? There’s an infringement violator out Wyoming way I bet they’d like to know about.

Silliman On Sports
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