on Sports
Marist, My New Adopted Team by Stan Silliman     humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Marist, My New Adopted Team   

      Every year about basketball tournament time I adopt an underdog, a smaller team that surprises the bigger boys and this year my adopted team – Marist College, the Red Foxxes, from Poughkeepsie, N.Y. beat mighty Ohio State, # 4 seed in the women’s tourney, and Oklahoma State at their fabled Gallagher-Iba Arena in Stillwater in the Men’s N.I.T. Tournament. 
    As usual, the adoption process doesn’t always go well. I’m calling Jason Corriher, Assistant AD and Sports Information Director for the Red Foxxes:

    “Hello. This is Jason Corriher, S.I.D.”
    “Oh, great. I’m so glad I caught you. This is Stan Silliman calling from Oklahoma. I’m calling about a rumor I heard. Tell me if this is so. I understand you’re asking to join the Big 12, being that you’re one of the few teams that can win at Gallagher Iba. Is this true?”
    “Hah, that’s a good one. I think we’re a little far away.”
    “Oh, that would have made for a great story. How about your men’s and women’s basketball teams beating two OSUs in the same week. Isn’t that something?”
    “What can I say? We love our Foxes. But that Ohio State team, whew. They were bigger, more physical. They had Davenport. If we weren’t hitting our threes…”
    “Exactly. That’s why you’re my adopted team this year. You beat a women’s team that OU couldn’t beat, including once on their own floor. And tell me this. You had to travel out to Palo Alto to play in the West Region. Did any team in the country have to travel as far as you did?”
    “I don’t think so… and we’re not exactly Rockefeller University.”
    “I bet the Marist Brothers didn’t expect to foot that kind of plane trip!”
    “Well, don’t get the wrong idea. We support our athletes and our teams.”
    “But that Rockefeller University statement, that was a good one. And I’d expect that from school that chooses to nickname themselves after one of our great comedians.”
    “Here’s one for you. You mentioned Rockefeller University. Do you realize they don’t even have a nickname? You know what I think they should be called?”
    “The Oysters. That would be perfect, right?”
    “Who are you, again?”
    “I’m the guy who just adopted your team. I’m rooting for you the rest of the way. And you should know that Sanford and Son was one of my favorite sitcoms. I can see why you’d call yourself The Red Foxxes.”

Marist, My New Adopted Team by Stan Silliman

    “I think you’ve got the…”
    “Did you know they adapted that show from a British sit-com called Step-Toe and Son? But of course, you already know that. Did Red Foxx go to this school? Did he speak at a commencement? My daughter’s school is called the Violets. Do you ever play NYU? Bill Cosby gave the commencement address at her graduation and I think they should have done like you guys and re-named their nickname to The Cosbys. Nobody gets frightened about playing the Violets. You guys don’t, do you?”
    “Sir, I’m happy you are rooting for our team. But… we’re nicknamed after the animal, the fox. We’re the Red Foxes, not the Red Foxxes. But I agree with you, for NYU, the Cosbys sounds a lot better than the Violets.”
    “So you’re not named after Red Foxx?”
    “No, but listen, if you’d like to make a donation to your new adopted team…” 

Silliman On Sports
2405 Wilcox Drive
Norman, OK  73069

Phone #: 405-360-4800
Comments or Suggestions: Email

Copyright © 2003-2007   Silliman On Sports    All Rights Reserved
 Website by Alliance Team