A McDonald's employee was canned for letting Adrian Peterson use their
You heard that story, right? A female
drive-thru employee was on her late-night McDonald's shift at 3 a.m.
when a man stood outside her window asking to use the restroom. The
inside cafe area was closed but she recognized the guy, Adrian
Peterson, and decided to let him in.
When management found out, they fired her. The
mother of three was out because she let Adrian Peterson in. Here's the
way we see it. The lady had a decision to make: Does she hold to
company policy or, feeling that she can trust the person, let him in?
By most accounts, Peterson is not known to trash up a place and has a
good reputation, so she may have felt safe.
From corporate viewpoint, McDonald's has thousands
of stores and more employees than live in your average city, plus
they've had many robberies and shoot-ups, so their policies are for
safety and the greater good. Perhaps McDonald's will add a
"Peterson clause" to their employee manual which states "If the most
visible athlete in your community needs to use the john, allow him in."
Of course they'll have to make a Brett Favre exception, a Tiger Woods
exception, a Roger Clemens exception, etc, etc, etc.
The good news is the media came to the employee's
rescue and shamed McDonald's into rehiring the lady. So far, no jokes.
What are we doing here? We have to ask how common is this policy. What
other franchise restaurants will also turn down Adrian Peterson from
using their restroom?
Why should McDonald's have all the bad publicity?
Silliman on Sports will do what we can to spread some of this ill will
around. Here are some other restaurants that would have denied Adrian
Peterson restroom access:
You want a really, really tasty cheese steak west of
the Mississippi? Try Texadelphia. Their sandwiches and cheese steaks
are delicious. And some have very unique Tex-Mex flavors. Find these
restaurants throughout Texas and Oklahoma. The very first one was close
to the University of Texas campus in Austin.
Someday, Adrian Peterson may find himself after
hours outside of a Texadelphia, needing to use the restroom. Peterson
is well known in the Texas-Oklahoma part of the world; they'll
recognize him as he's knocking on the door. His bladder is about to
burst. Will they open their doors? Adrian is running in place at the
pace of a 9.4 40-yard dash. Will they kindly let him in? We think maybe
The guys who own Texadelphia are big University of
Texas fans. Big, big supporters and donors. So big, they may have a
specific "Don't let Adrian Peterson use our restroom after hours"
policy. It's just a suspicion, but could very well be true.
Have you ever heard of Starbucks? Someone asked
me how much was Starbucks decaf coffee when I was Adrian Peterson's
age. Here's the answer: I don't know. I'm trying to remember but I
don't think Starbucks existed when I was the age AP is now. It's
possible the guy who founded Starbucks wasn't even born then. It's
possible they hadn't even created decaf coffee. Everything was Sanka.
Anyway, would a barrista get fired if he or she
permitted Adrian Peterson to use the restroom after they were closed? I
say yes because they're greedy on their swizzle sticks. If a firm
shorts you on the swizzle, they'll have a
This next one is a little different. No one will be
fired for letting Adrian Peterson use the Golden Corral bathroom after
hours...because no one will ever see or hear Adrian Peterson banging on
the Golden Corral door after hours.
Do I need explain? Yes, I think I do. Have you heard
of Golden Corral? Biggest steak and fixins buffet on earth. Well, maybe
not in terms of total food on the floor; possibly a few Vegas casinos
have it beat there. But in terms of total weight of consumers gathered
at one feeding trough, this takes the...there's a reason it's called a
What I'm saying is the biggest humans to occupy
space on this planet gather at one spot. Put another way: the collected
gross tonnage on the floor of a Golden Corral is enough to make a
stevedoring crew jealous. These people are so huge, Adrian Peterson
seems tiny, insignificant, beneath notice.
That's why they won't see him pounding on the door.
They're not used to 220-lb running backs trying to get in there. If
you're not an offensive lineman or a sumo wrestler or larger, you will
not be noticed.
Do you doubt? I speak from experience. I tried the
place and I'm only ten pounds lighter than Peterson. In this world I
was a bug on the rear of a St. Bernard. My car was the only vehicle in
the lot without heavy duty springs. Some gave me looks because I could
see over my plate. Like I was the strange one? I was the guy using only
one chair. There is a reason they call it Corral.
I know you're saying "Silliman, you jabbed
McDonald's. Why don't you also slam Wendy's?"
You're asking me to display fairness? For why,
because Wendy's directly competes with Mickey D's? Similar hours,
similar drive-thru, similar chance Adrian Peterson may one day find
himself needing to use their restroom in an after-hours situation?
Okay, I'll bite. It'll never happen. You know why?
Because Carrot Top looks like Wendy from their logo.
Now try to imagine Wendy all buffed up, with muscles
instead of boobs. Braids with lats. Adrian Peterson-sized biceps on a
calico-skirted Wendy. That's a scary thought, even for a superhero
like Adrian Peterson. He'll never go near the place.