Hats off to ESPN.  Putting a sports league draft on television has been their most brilliant move ever.  Oh, the thrills, the chills, the suspense!  Just kidding.  It ranks right up there with watching HGTV’s Paint Drying Contest.
   
“Marv, it looks like the PPG Interior Latex is airing out at a lot faster rate than either the Dual Grade primer or Glidden’s enamel.”
    “I’m on the edge of my seat, Jack.”

    The 2008 draft was full of teams announcing their selections, players wearing fancy suits, players towering over Commissioner Stern, and players putting on ball caps of their new team.  In the case of former Kansas star Darrell Arthur, putting on a new hat became a bit like chasing lost luggage. First, Arthur was chosen by the New Orleans Hornets.  A great selection because, if anything, Darrell can finish alley-oops and Chris Paul is the best oop-setter-upper in the business and that Hornets hat looks so right on him.  Oops!  The Hornets don’t last long as Darrell Arthur is quickly traded to Portland for cash.  Wow, long ways from Arthur’s home town of Dallas, but he gets to join a strong young team.

    In the meantime, forward Walter Sharpe’s stock drops on the news he has narcolepsy.  Sleepiness, really?  The last person in the draft we’d accuse of sleepiness is someone named Sharpe. 

    OJ Mayo goes to the Minnesota Timberwolves.  Minnesota folks!  Give me odds on how many years it will be before Mayo tries to buy the clinic.

    Uh, oh.  Another oops.  Just when we said Darrell Arthur had it good by being traded to Portland, the Trailblazers deal him and Joey Dorsey to Houston for Nic Batum.  Okay, well at least now Arthur is back in Texas with the Rockets.  That’s good because he’s tall and slim like a rocket. 
   
    Kevin Love is picked by the Memphis Grizzlies to play on the same team as Rudy Gay.  This is good for our headline writing business because we expect those guys to be leading scorers as in “The Grizzlies were lead by Gay, Love.” 

    Oops.  Kevin Love is quickly traded from Memphis to Minnesota.  From the Pyramid to the frozen north.  There goes our headlines.

    Robin Lopez gets selected at 15 by the Suns.  He has the largest red-headed Afro since Richard Simmons.  The Suns ball cap floats on top of his head like a marshmallow in a bowl of cherries. 
    Oops, Just when Darrell Arthur is getting used to his Rockets hat and the prospect of playing with Yao Ming, he gets traded to Memphis.  Does he, at least, get to keep all his hats?  Here’s a guy who went 20 and 11 in the NCAA championship game and then on draft day gets traded four times.  But, surely, he has a home now. Surely, they’ll love him in… uh… uh… what team did Kansas beat?  Memphis?  Oh, no.