When
the “Guilty… Guilty… Guilty” verdict came back in OJ’s armed robbery of
sports memorabilia, the look on OJ’s face was, in the advertising
vernacular of Mastercard, PRICELESS.
This was the look Fred Goldman expected to see years
ago in the murder trial and almost saw in OJ’s wrongful death civil
suit but not quite because OJ displayed a slight smugness knowing he
had no intention of ever earning money the Goldmans could attach per
their judgment.
The look on Al Cowlings’ face as he and his white
Broncho were waiting for OJ outside the Las Vegas courtroom to whisk
him to the airport in time to make a South Florida tee time was also…
PRICELESS.
The look on the face of Reggie Bush, who was no
where near the trial but now realizes that just because you’re a
celebrated Heisman-trophy-winning-U.S.C.-running-back-with-a
room-lighting-smile, you can’t get away with everything, was again…
PRICELESS.
Priceless, because now Reggie Bush knows, with his
own trial pending for not paying back advances from a sports agent
while he was still at U.S.C. could land both Bush and his school in
trouble; so much trouble that, in another television ad reference, he
may no longer get to share a Subway sandwich with Jerad.
The look on the face of Kim Kardashian, featured on Dancing with the Stars and her own reality show Keeping Up with the Kardashians,
who also happens to be Reggie Bush’s girlfriend and wouldn’t be
Reggie’s girl, or be dancing or starring in her own show had it not
been for OJ’s first trial with her dad, Robert, introducing OJ to
Robert Shapiro to set up the dream team, was… well you know… duh… not
so priceless. Even though she’s supposed to be an actress, her range of
facial expressions doesn’t quite reach… PRICELESS.
Besides, she’s not black, so she might like a credit card called Mastercard.

But, once she realizes OJ’s mantra, creed,
overriding drive is possessiveness or the “what was once mine will
always be mine” attitude might pertain to all coddled U.S.C. running
backs we expect a light bulb to go off in her head and her facial
expression to change to… no we don’t. We’re kidding. There are no light
bulbs anywhere near that pretty head of hers.
OJ could possibly get life in prison. The sentence may not fit the crime, may not be fair.
Except for one thing and again we’re using the advertising vernacular:
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. In other words, if you commit a
crime in Vegas, you’ll do time in Vegas or in a Nevada prison or you’ll
end up buried in the desert by Joey Pesci or one of his buddies. The
moral: Never commit a crime in Vegas. Don’t believe the Danny Ocean
movies. If you steal in a casino or from a hotel, whatever
fingers you used to commit the theft will stay in Vegas… with or
without the rest of your body. If you break into a hotel meeting room
in Vegas, it’s not California.