boxing champion, Arthur Abraham, has been told to de-Smurfify himself.
If you ask me, and I’m turning blue over all this,
that’s downright unsmurfy.
Okay, let’s back up. You all know I’m for the little
guy, the underdog, the David, if we must be historical and a
middleweight boxing champion, IBF Middleweight champ, to be exact (as
if he could be more underdog) is usually a short guy… with a smashed-in
Folks, this is exactly what we have, an
Armenian with a smashed-in nose wearing a golden Smurf hat trotting up
to the ring to the tune of the smurf theme song escorted by three girls
painted blue. Smurfettes? Yes. And it is cool. It is German boxing
cool. Father Abraham (no relation to the boxer) belting out his
European hit “The Smurf Song” and three hotter-than-hot, painted-blue
female smurfs sashaying while Arthur Abraham wears such a serious
focused scowl you’re screaming “What’s going on???” Like I said, this
is German boxing cool… and the people who own the Smurf trademark are
saying otherwise… un-cool things: like cease-and-desisssst (that’s in
my best German smurfy lisp).
By the way, The Smurfs were one of my daughter’s
favorite cartoons and we watched many smurfy situations together. Even
if the Smurfs were little blue European commies, they were funny little
communists. They shared everything. There was no farmer smurf selling
his crops to consumer smurf. They all lived in their little village
with every last blue guy sharing the production of all the other blue
guys. They all wore the same color, sang the same song everywhere they
went and all had their assigned jobs. That’s why I can’t understand
this cease-and-desist deal. Cease-and-desist is not a communist
concept. Communism is about sharing. Nobody had the job of Boxer Smurf.
Art Abraham saw the need, donned a cap and went about his smurfy way.
Like I said, I’m for the little guy. Even if the
guys fighting against the little guy are themselves little guys. So
when cheery little creatures step out of the commune and go into the
courts to keep a little guy from his livelihood of punching other
little guys in the gut while wearing a smurf hat, it’s enough to make
you go “La la la la la la…” and march around like a … you know.
I’m sure Pierre “Peyo” Culliford, the Belgian
cartoonist who first conceived the Smurfs, if he were still in charge
(he died in 1992) would not allow this travesty. And if his son,
Thierry, listened to his dad we wouldn’t be seeing this court action,
either. Yes, this cease stuff comes from Studio Peyo and or Warner
Brothers (scrambled spells out Gargermel… or Mel Gibson backwards)
combining to be the very capitalistic evil villains of our story.
Abraham had to throw in the hat. The Smurf girls had
to remove their paint (now you can tell when they’re choking) and when
Arthur boxes no Smurf theme song is played. The wall came down in
Germany and the Chinese are becoming more capitalistic. You may not
immediately see the connection but the Chinese are making a lot of the
Smurf products, even for Gargermel… er, we mean Warner Brothers. Now
Arthur Abraham bills himself as King Arthur, carries around a round
table and finds it quite smurfy.