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Percy Miller Jr., Basketball Star?  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Percy Miller, Jr., Basketball Star?
“And I can’t leave home without my chain
Got girls all over screamin’ out my name
I’m like Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming
I might switch up my team but I’m still in the game”

    Today we’re examining Lil’ Romeo lyrics to see if we can determine what makes Percy Miller, Jr. (the rapper Lil’ Romeo) such a great basketball player. In case you didn’t know (and we bet you didn’t) Romeo received a full-ride basketball scholarship to USC. And in this case when people joke about USC standing for University of Spoiled Children, they won’t be far wrong. Romeo Miller, 5’10 point guard for Beverly Hills High, averaged 8.6 points a game, had a bad knee and his team finished last in its league. The last time a player from Beverly Hills High received a Division One athletic scholarship was… oh, I don’t know… NEVER!! Maybe these lyrics will give a clue:

“Can I ball? You know it ma
Playa standin’ tall, I’m growing up
It’s a no, no limit, ya’ll can’t flow with us
On my way to school, I got my own bus”

    That must be it. You give a guy a schollie because he brings his own bus. What’s $44,000 a year (the cost of a USC scholarship) if a guy provides a bus for the team? Busses cost money and besides, in that song, Romie said he can ball… and stand tall, too. He’s 5’10. Sure, basketball coaches all over are looking for 5’10 players. There are never too many of those guys. 

    What is remarkable about this recruitment is the Wall Street Journal covered it. I know what you’re saying – the Wall Street Journal? For a high school kid? The Journal doesn’t cover athletes unless their net worth is at least $ 20 million. How about adding another $ 30 million to that for this incoming freshman, a freshman whose clothing line last year made $ 50 mil profit; A freshman with his own home and a Bentley when he was 12; A freshman with his own TV show on Nickelodeon for two years; A freshman who won two Billboard Music Awards; A freshman who plays pickup ball with Kobe Bryant in his backyard. How’s the NCAA going to handle this? Are they going to complain when he comes to practice in a limo, or if the entire team is wearing P. Miller shirts? Romeo is so rich, he sings about it:

“Got these girls all on me
If I wasn’t me, I’d want me
At the age of 12 I had a ride and a crib
Now let me tell you how these rich boyz live
Yeah, I’m a balla
Platinum chain, baby blue impala”
Percy Miller Jr., Basketball Star?  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
    This is where the NCAA might step in. You see, in high school ball, Romeo had a diamond stud in each ear, gold bracelets, platinum chain, so much bling the other teams were blind by halftime. In college ball it may not be so legal. His scholarship may be more about DeMar DeRozan and all the really good players Romie can attract to play with him. Let’s help make Romeo’s lyrics just a little more real:     

“I’m a college balla, iced up to holla
My daddy pulled de strings
To get me in at SC, with donated wings
Cuz I know the playas be winning them de rings”

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