on Sports
Pink Slips Produce Books by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman

Stevie Williams, a caddy and friend of Tiger Woods, was fired last week. The New Zealand press says now a tell-all book by Williams may be on the horizon. Mike Leach was fired by Texas Tech more than a year ago and now has a book, Swing Your Sword, on the shelves. 

Pink slips produce books. Fired celebrities have time on their hands and if their hands are also not full of shot glasses (quick piece of advice to Charlie Sheen), they write books.  That’s what fired celebrities are prone to do, write books: books about their lives, how good their lives were, how you wish you could have been them, how they were wronged and how stupid their former bosses were. 

If you’re going to fire someone, don’t fire someone who thinks they’re a writer or knows someone who actually is a writer. Instead fire readers or someone who can’t afford a ghostwriter. Don’t be like the editor of the Kansas City Star, in 1919, and fire his young reporter by saying “Your writing won’t cut it, kid. It’s too Mickey Mouse.” The young reporter stormed out the door saying “I’ll show him Mickey Mouse.” Of course the young guy was Walt Disney. 

Don’t be like the fancy magazine, New Yorker, and fire your copy boy after he writes his first article reviewing Robert Frost. Sometimes these copy boys can write and might say scathing things about your mag, if his name is Truman Capote. 

Don’t be like the television show, Benson, and fire one of your young actors just because it appears he can’t act. That young actor might be able to write sitcoms, may even be able to write sitcom episodes where a television series unceremoniously fires a young actor. He might if his name were Jerry Seinfeld.
Do you get what I’m getting at, Texas Tech and Tiger Woods? You fire someone who might have an ax to grind and the means to buy a grinder. Stories could be told. Secrets could be revealed. 

In Mike Leach’s case, he’s a pirate. Pirates do keep secrets except when they wish not to. In Swing Your Sword, Leach wished not to, except he didn’t mention the firing until page 177.  Be forewarned, readers and friends, Leach’s book is not all about Craig James and his son, Adam James. Nor is it about ESPN and the influence they used to discredit Mike Leach.

Pink Slips Produce Books by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons

We have similar questions about the Stevie Williams book, if and when.  Williams needs to admit that, for a caddy who, in most cases, average $40,000 per year, he had it pretty good. Even though his last two years weren’t that great in many of his other years he earned fifteen the average salary.  Do you throw out the good and glorious years because of the firing? Yes, if the goal is to sell books. If Steve Williams doesn’t reveal what he knew or how he felt about Tiger sneaking around, some publishers won’t take a chance.  If the goal is to sell, holding back is not an option. 

On the other hand, if Tiger were to buy all the copies or pay the printers fee, or more succinctly, a non-printers fee, then we may never experience what a New Zealander thinks about bag-carrying for the best-ever golfer… or the best-ever golfer’s affairs.  In that case, a certain someone, perhaps a pirate, might get so upset he’ll Swing His Sword.  

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