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Bosox Fan Can't Escape The Haters  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Bosox Fan Can't Escape The Haters

       We’ve always said baseball fans are crazy. Especially fans steeped in hundred year rivalries. A story reported by Roger Van Der Horst in the News Observer goes to prove the point.  
    A Raleigh, North Carolina Red Sox fan named Sean Bunn had one of those days. You know what I mean by one of those days; one of those days where his beloved team loses. What I mean is, not just loses, but loses an ALCS playoff game by 13-4! But then, as if… he comes back to find his condo has been vandalized! Okay, that’s pretty bad, and sad, you say, but wait… all the vandalizing is to his Red Sox memorabilia. Everything, his TV screens, an antique chair from his grandfather, walls, carpeting, golf bag, cabinets.

    How bad was the vandalism? His walls were painted in Yankee pinstripes. They striped  his dress shirts and put the numbers of Alex Rodriquez (13) and Derek Jeter (2) on the back. “Sox Suck” was scribbled on one wall and “Yankes” scribbled on another. That’s how bad a day it was for Sean Bunn. A Yankee fan breaks into your place, defiles it and CAN’T EVEN SPELL “YANKEES” CORRECTLY.

    Pretty sad, really. A guy is passionate enough to    bust into your place, not steal a thing, just wants to hate you for loving the Red Sox over his Yankees… and doesn’t even know how to spell “Yankees.”
We’re not going to say a thing about the fact this event happened in the South. We’re not going to question why such a passionate Boston fan is in Raleigh, North Carolina. We know that passionate fans are dispersed everywhere. We’re not going to question why the vandal wasn’t a Tampa Bay fan and maybe this could be a North-South civil war type thing. We know there are NO passionate Tampa Bay fans. 

    One thing the police spokesman said caught us as strange. He wondered how the vandal got the address or knew Sean Bunn was a Bosox fan. The police should know this but it wasn’t that Sean Bunn was just a Sox fan. He was THE main fan in Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area, helping to organize a 919 person Red Sox fan club. Sean used to get fans out to watch the Sox play in local sports bars. They’ve had as many as 87 fans attend one game-watching Meet-up. Sean Bunn was active in all the Sox charity events like the Jimmy Fund and. Sean was elected the Governor of the Red Sox Nation in North Carolina. (There are 100s of thousands of Red Sox fans across the country and there are “governors” in 45 states.) This is all information easily obtainable over the internet, including Sean’s phone number. 
Bosox Fan Can't Escape The Haters  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
    We think the dumb vandal was going for the juggler, striking a blow at the reddest of Red Sox fans. So maybe he wasn’t so dumb. Scratch that. He was a dumb stupid cretin who can’t even spell Yankees. What’s worse, he spelled “Sox” correctly, which in itself is a misspelled word.

    To a southern vandal it has to suck to be a Yankee fan. First, Red Sox fans get to call their fandom “Red Sox Nation.” In the South “Yankee Nation” just won’t work. Your team, just like this year’s New York Wall Street brokers, was overpaid and underachieved. Those two items have to make your head explode when they’re foreclosing on your house. Your team just built a new stadium. You can brag about that except when you note it has 6000 less seats, you realize you’ll never see a game there. And finally, as a vandal, you’re ever mindful that Yankee pinstripes look just like jail bars. Hope you enjoy holding those bars many, many years.


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