Sarah Palin is in town
promoting her new book “Going Rogue”
so we thought it might be a good time to get a few sports tips and
ideas from the sporty ex-vice presidential candidate.
A guy in front of me is anxious to present a gift to Sarah, a folding
hunting knife he had forged himself. As he hands it to Palin, she
reaches in her boot, saying “That’s not a knife. THIS is a knife!” then
she pulls out a Rambo 12” jagged-blade, stabbing it into her desk. I’m
thinking I’m going to have to word
my questions a little more carefully.
Not many of us in the lower 48 have ever been moose hunting. Are there
any special secrets for bagging a big one?
Well, I don’t want to get all mavericky or anything but it helps if
your pilot can fly real low, but don’t hit any of them trees. That’ll
cramp your style.
How about bear hunting? We saw a picture of you sitting on a bearskin
Bear hunting? Come on up and we’ll fix you up, you betcha. Just be sure
you bring some hunting buddies with you, preferably fat ones who can’t
run as fast as you.
Did you see the videos of the New Mexico soccer girl playing dirty,
yanking hair, smacking her opponents in the ribs? Do you think that
gives a bad name to women’s sports?
You’re kidding, right? Now folks are watching soccer. You see these
nails? When I played basketball we called them claws. If your uniform
wasn’t all tattered you had a good day. I left more teeth marks
than a Dracula. I snapped more bra straps than a tranny in a training
bra. We play rough … like mavericks.
Speaking of women’s basketball, now that Sacramento has given up on the
Monarchs, do you think the WNBA will ever locate in Alaska?
Don’t see why not. We got cold nights. Nothing will
warm ya up like a bunch of gals in shorts sweating over a hot gym
Your husband, Todd, likes to go on 2000 mile snow-ski
races. Do you send anything along to keep him from being lonely on
these lengthy races?
Do you mean like frilly undergarments? No, you
betcha I tried that… but they came back all stretched out. No, usually
I just send some pictures and a few cans of soup. If he gets cold, you
bet there are some polar bears he can skin.
This is a little off our sports subject but we understand Levi Johnston
is going to pose nude in Playgirl
using a sports item as a prop. Did you ask Bristol about it?
She said it was just going to be him and his hockey puck.
At one time you expressed a desire to be an ESPN anchorperson. Do you
have any advice for young women who might wish to follow the same
desire as you did?
Oh, sure. Well, first you get a job on a TV station. Do whatever you
can to learn the job. Then get yourself elected mayor of a small town.
Then get involved with your party and get appointed to a state
commission. Then get elected governor. Then sell your state jet plane.
Then, if you’re lucky, an old codger with a bad ticker will pick you to
be his running mate. THEN, if you’re still lucky, a comedian will
impersonate you on a late night TV show. Then, you got a chance to be
an ESPN anchor person.