All-Pro running back Gale Sayers expressed
displeasure with how his old football team, the Chicago Bears, is being
run. Oft injured and bald linebacker Brian Urlacher expressed
displeasure at Gale Sayers’ expression of displeasure. Now, before you
get in the act and express displeasure at two beloved Bears expressing
at each other, just allow them their say. And also, before you get
upset at us, as non-Chicagoans, for using the above word “beloved” just
know we didn’t steal the word from Oprah. We only borrowed it.
Gale Sayers is unhappy with quarterback Jay Cutler,
unhappy with Urlacher and unhappy with Lovie Smith, the coach. Urlacher
shot back that Sayers should shut up because he never won a Super Bowl
nor even a playoff game.
We side with Sayers. Sayers made these statements
while addressing middle school students at Boys Town in Nebraska.
Sayers is one of the calmest and reserved people you’ll meet and was
merely giving his honest opinion when asked. Secondly we side with
Sayers because Gale was a lead character in the best “chick-flick for
men” ever made, “Brian’s Song”. In that movie, Billy Dee Williams
played Gale to James Caan’s Brian Piccolo. Brian Piccolo was a southern
curly-haired Italian running back who competed with as well as sharing
the same Chicago Bears backfield with Gale Sayers. They were friends
and expressed their friendship with good old-fashioned slow motion
running. Nothing bonds two competitive football guys like
sweat-drenched slow motion sprints. Here’s the sad part: Brian Piccolo
dies young, struck down by disease just when he starts to really help
the Bears. This is the “chick-flick for men” part. While some
chick flicks require two-hankies, this was a half-tissue box with loud
man-type nose honks.
We also have a second reason for siding with Sayers.
I wrote the lyrics for “Brian’s Song”. Nobody asked me to. It just
seemed necessary to fill a void when the tissue box dropped to
half-full. Also, don’t bother humming along. I also changed the tune as
it didn’t work with our new lyrics. Here it is:
Piccilo,
Piccilo, Picccc-i-looooo
He’s a
running back, running back, hey, y’know
He made a
friend of Gale Sayers
He made a
friend of Gale Sayers
Gale was a
guy who really cares
One was
white and one was bla-ck
That was a
big deal, once, way ba-ck
One was from
the South with curly hair
One was a
Jayhawk, really square
Piccilo,
Piccolo, Picccc-i-looooo
He’s a
running back, running back, he died, y’know
It was sad
‘cause he used to run in great slow-mo
Piccilo,
Piccilo, Picccc-i-looooo