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Signing Day Full of Head-Scratching Quotes  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Signing Day Full of Head-Scratching Quotes

   What do Mike Stoops, Joe Tiller, Willie Mobley and Kevin Hart have in common - signing day stories and quotes of the head-scratching variety. Football recruiting is a ridiculous exasperating activity anyway and signing day always produces a chuckle or two. This year brought three or four chuckles.

    Arizona coach Mike Stoops stepped in it by calling his chief rival - Arizona State – a junior college. What he meant was recruits were saying it was easier to qualify there. His exact words were “Obviously Arizona State has turned into a JC and we’re a four-year college.”   Arizona State flew back with records showing their freshmen actually had higher gpas than Arizona’s. The governor stepped in. There was to be a duel in the desert. They were going to jump on the 3:10 to Yuma. One might say Mikey gets a little overheated because three cacti died. John McCain quit campaigning to mediate. Mikey apologized, and his rosie red face blended in beautifully with the setting sun over the mountains.   

    Here’s another coach with a weird quote. After receiver Roy Roundtree, a Purdue commitment since May, signed with Michigan after visiting their new coach Rich Rodriquez last weekend, Purdue coach Joe Tiller said “If we had an early signing date you wouldn’t have another guy, in a wizard hat selling snake oil, get a guy at the last minute.” Two old, bald, fat guys bickering, you have to like that. To tell the truth you don’t know who would look better in a wizard hat, Tiller or Rich Rod. But if Rodriquez were wearing one, you can be sure the University of West Virginia will say it was theirs, stolen from their office and should be returned along with $ 4 million dollars.   

    Willie Mobley, Ohio State University recruit, received a letter on signing day on Ohio State letterhead saying their offer was no longer extended and then wished him luck wherever he ended up. Only problem was the letter, which had a Columbus, Ohio postmark, was a fake. Mobley’s comment was “There were all these misspellings and the signature was scribble-scribble. I sure hope the person who did it wasn’t thirty-years-old or something because it’s embarrassing.”  Yes, obviously the work of a decrepit thirty-year-old, with his gnarled arthritic fingers, dementia setting in affecting his spelling and his feeble hands barely able to fake a signature.
Signing Day Full of Head-Scratching Quotes  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
    Speaking of fakes, I’m sure you read about 6’5, 290 lineman, Kevin Hart of Fernley, Nevada    . He’s the guy who called a news conference to announce he was choosing between Oregon and Cal, and, with two ball caps in front of him, picked Cal. The only problem was, neither Oregon nor Cal chose him. Neither one had ever heard of him. Then Hart came up with a story that he had been duped by a recruiter or someone who had offered to show his game tapes to these schools. This might have worked except in Kevin’s story he said this recruiter loaned him money and that Kevin paid him back, except, if this were true Kevin’s high school team might have to forfeit their games because Kevin would have violated his amateur status. That’s like digging yourself into a hole with a shovel and then calling in a backhoe. The FBI was called in to look for the alleged “recruiter” and more media time spent. Finally, Kevin admitted he faked the whole deal, so desperate to have been seen as a D1 recruit. The only thing that could have been better was for Mike Stoops to have shown up, wearing a wizard hat, look at Kevin Hart’s recruit letter, notice all the misspellings, and then state that it was not a letter from Jeff Thedford at Cal but rather from someone at Arizona State because it looked like it had been written by a 30-year-old guy in junior college.   

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