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Skeered At The Skirvin by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Skeered At The Skirvin

    The New York Knicks traveled west to be beaten by the Oklahoma City Thunder Monday, January 11 by a score of 106 to 88. Blamed for the loss:  Effie the Ghost.  

    Effie, for those not up on their “ghostology” is the apparition haunting the Skirvin Hotel, where the Knicks stayed for two nights. 

    Effie is not new news.  After all, Perle Mesta once referred to Effie as the “Ghostess with the mostest”. Mrs. Mesta should know as she was the daughter the oil baron/hotel baron, W.B. Skirvin, himself. Ever since jumping to her death in 1931 from the 10th Floor, Effie has been haunting the upper floors of the Skirvin Hotel.

    Like we said, Effie is not news. The news is a pair of Knicks players claiming Effie disturbed their sleep the night before the game.  One of the players making this claim is Eddy Curry, who, at 6’ 11”and  300 lbs,  is one of the larger human beings on this planet.  Effie the Ghost was (is?) a mere 4’ 10” and barely 100 lbs in human clothing.  (soaking wet?).  

    Ghostbusters, the movie, showed us ghosts can be funny.  But what’s funny about all this is picturing Eddy Curry, the giant center, running down from his tenth floor room to seek cover in little Nate Robinson’s room.  Robinson, at 5’ 9”, is one of the smallest players in the NBA. 

    “Nate?  Nate? Open up. GHOSTS!!  Nate, can I stay with you?” 
    “Eddy? You’re kidding, right?” 
    “Nate…I’m NOT kidding.  Just open up the (curseword, curseword) door!”
    “Okay, Eddy, I see you brought your blankie with you.” 

    We have to ask:  Why did Eddy Curry run to Nate Robinson’s room?  Of all the Knick players, Nate Robinson is least known for defense. Maybe it was because none of the other players would have had any spare bed space to share with Eddy.  Maybe it was because little Nate, with all his muscles, could scare Effie away if she came a-haunting.  Maybe if she showed up, Nate could confront her eye to eye (rather than eye-to-belt).   If there is anything more feared by an NBA player, it has to be a poltergeist-genitalia confrontation. 

    We’re not big on buying the ghost-card as a handy game losing excuse. Especially when the two guys whimpering the most, Eddie Curry and Jerad Jefferies, rode so much pine they had to get splinterectomies.
Skeered At The Skirvin by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
    However, strange and eerie possibilities cannot be ruled out at the Skirvin. Many scary stories have been told.  Some guests have seen “a woman standing in the window she jumped out of.”  Others have reported seeing a maid’s cart moving mysteriously down the hall… no one visible pushing it.    Male guests have told of “being propositioned by a female voice” while alone in their rooms. 

    And now, a burly basketball player in his jammies  –– running  from floor to floor to escape the Ghost of Effie.  Whooo…… woooo…..


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