year the Dear Wife always asks why the need for college football and
every year I always reply “To prop up the T-Shirt industry.” And then I
remind her of the thousands of hard working printers and solid citizens
making up the Tee Shirt industry and all the wonderful slogans they’ve
brought us. Would we have ever enjoyed “IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THE BITCH FELL OFF” on the back of a Harley shirt, if not for the Tee industry? Point made.
Where would smack talking your football opponent be
if not for the front and back of tees? This year is no different. Lots
to smack about and the T-Shirt makers and slogan writers are busy
economy stimulators. If you doubt me, visit a game or your local flea
This year’s most popular football smack subjects?
Tennessee coach Lane Kiffen, RichRod at Michigan, Michigan QB Tate
Forcier, Tebow of Nazareth, Landry Jones’ mustache,
Coach Saban, Mark Mangino and Colorado coach Dan “Hawk” Hawkins.
WHAT’S KIFFEN SNIFFIN’?
is a popular T-Shirt in Knoxville. Why not? The guy is crazy. He called
out Urban Meyer, committed recruiting violations, ripped off his shirt
in front of recruits, flaunted his gorgeous wife, Layla, and went frat
boy crazy at a Knoxville watering hole. T-Shirt companies see dollar
signs every time he approaches a microphone.
Florida has a Tennessee smack shirt reading 5 Things You’ll Never Hear in Tennessee.
It goes on to list 1) Wrasslin’ is fake! 2) Come to think of it, I’ll
have a Heineken! 3) Good Ol’ Phil, we’re gonna miss him! 4) Checkmate!
5) I can’t marry you, you’re my cousin!
Going up to Lansing we find both RichRod and Tate
Forcier. The Tee-Shirt printers are working overtime. Almost as popular
as IN RICH ROD WE TRUST is RICH ROD MADE ME PRACTICE 27 HOURS AND ALL I GOT IS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT. Of course the Star Wars punsters are out with their May the Forcier be With You. Right behind that is HE TATE YOU!
Tebow of Nazareth? Plenty of SEC opponents have
T-Shirts showing Tebow in robes doing a jump pass to starving village
children. Another with Tebow in the water a line of bikini clad
FOLLOW THE ‘STACH, that’s the slogan showing Oklahoma’s Landry Jones’ mustache kicking a field goal and running up the score. OUR COACH CAN EAT YOUR COACH is a big seller in Manhattan, Kansas. SABANATION is the smack out of Tuscaloosa, followed by OUR COACH IS PAID MORE THAN YOUR COACH.
Poor Dan Hawkins, coach of Colorado. His son, Cody,
is quarterback and they’ve had a bad start. Other teams are smacking on
him with THIS AIN’T INTERMURALS, IS IT
referring to a speech Hawk made in his first year when a parent of a
player complained about the long and hard practices. Another reads NOT SO EASY WITHOUT BLUE UNIFORMS ON A BLUE FIELD. That one refers to Hawk’s time at Boise State where he was undefeated at home on a blue field.
Support our t-Shirt industry. They’re thriving without a bailout.