NCAA football season special game alert – Sept.13 – when the Oklahoma
Sooners play the Washington Huskies in Seattle: the game has taken on
new meaning. Instead of just being a football game between two big time
programs played out in a beautiful stadium in the city of Seattle, it
will be looked on as more than that. Because the NBA recently approved
the move of the Super Sonics to Oklahoma City it will be pictured as
thieves returning to the scene of the crime.
The Oklahoma University Sooners didn’t steal the NBA team. But it doesn’t help that the word, Sooners, means land thieves. Just like it doesn’t help that the word Super Sonics stands for jet airplanes. Yes, jet airplanes that land.
Symbolically, Oklahomans will have stolen a team with a
name of an apparatus that LANDS. Yes, it is a stretch. But Seattlites,
folks who are possibly elitist but by no means dummies, will make the
connection between land thieves and airplanes that land and will wrongfully want to take revenge on the Oklahoma Sooners.
That’s why when wagon loads of Sooners, the Dear
Wife and I included, descend on Seattle for the weekend of Sept 12th
through 14th I fear for them and us. I’m sure most Sooners will be
traveling by covered wagon in lieu of flying. Because flying means
coming on jet airplanes, the most likely to be Boeing-made, and we’ve
all been hearing about their LANDing gear problems.
Here’s another thing associated with the trip. What
is the first thing a visitor wants to do upon arriving in Seattle? Get
some coffee, of course. Best coffee in the world. Seattle is known for
its coffee. And where best to get Seattle coffee? Starbucks, of course.
Especially since it’s not crowded
because all the locals are boycotting since the owner of Starbucks,
Howard Schultz, sold the Seattle Sonics basketball team to
investors from Oklahoma. This means Oklahomans visiting Seattle should
be able to walk in, not have to stand in line, pay way too much for a
cup of coffee and enjoy it in a not so crowded café.
That’s fine except for one thing: POISON!!
I’m telling Oklahomans if you walk into a Starbucks
keep both the red and white and the Boomer-Sooner on the down low.
Starbucks employees aren’t too happy with Howard Schultz, either. You
don’t get any tips when the locals are boycotting. And they especially
didn’t care for it when Boss Schultz became whiney, saying things like
“NBA salaries are EXPENSIVE!” Well, duhh, Mr. Lord of Lattes, these
guys have skills a little beyond telling us “You can have a tall,
grande or venti.”
I looked up a Steve Kelley 2006 Seattle Times
article written shortly after Shultz sold the team to Bennett and his
Oklahoma investors for $ 350 million. The article had a few Schultz
quotes and you could tell from day one Schultz may have had mugs of
knowledge about coffee but didn’t know a donut from a slam dunk about
running a basketball franchise. Things like the “KeyArena lease
agreement” and “economic realities of the NBA” all came across as items
just discovered by Schultz, like bags of coffee beans that had fallen
behind the refrigerator. There was one other thing Schultz should have
known – there were more billionaires living within fifty miles of him
than in all of Oklahoma and yet, he couldn’t get a single one
interested. “I think there was a little naivete.” That’s another
Schultz quote making Starbucks employees cringe when hearing it
repeated. Who wants to work for a naïve boss?
So I’m telling my fellow Sooner fans, be mindful.
Bring a food taster along when shopping at Starbucks and don’t dare go
to the Waterfront Bar in Bellingham where Ted Bundy, Kenneth Bianchi,
John Muhammed and all the other serial killers congregate. Some of
those serial killers might be basketball fans… or worse yet, Huskies