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I Only Watch the Super Bowl for the Commercials by Stan Silliman     humor sports comedy cartoons


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
"I Only Watch the Super Bowl for the Commercials"   

   A few days ago a person made the above statement to me.   
    You’ll be proud of me. I shot back with “Well, I only read Playboy for the articles.”
When I said “proud of me” I didn’t mean for lying, just for quick retorting.

    Then she replied “I only watch soap operas for the fashion tips.”   
    Then I said “I only eat steak to exercise my manibles.” followed by “Touché” as I sat on my tushie. Okay. The touché part was in my head, only. Still, one can wish it came out audibly.
    Then she said “I only like sex as a sleep inducement.”
    To which I said “Honey, don’t you realize I’m writing all this down?”
    Back to the Super Bowl/Commercials statement: A company called InsightExpress advertising itself as a professional research firm (as apposed to amateur research firms?) claims up to 50% watch the Super Bowl specifically for the commercials. In a survey conducted in 2004, their research showed that 54% of all Americans planned to watch the Super Bowl, half of those for the ads, and 58% claiming they pay closer attention to the Super Bowl ads than other ads they see everyday.

    So we get it. The over $ 5 Million per minute spent on advertising will reach folks. But here’s what I don’t get. Why subject yourself, and I’m not talking about anybody in particular even if she’s messing with her hair in the next chair, to a four hour game if you only want to see 20 to 30 minutes of unrepeated commercials? If you’re all into seeing talking frogs and magic refrigerators and the priceless things MacGyver picks up at the local supermarket, you can do so without the three-and-a half hours of ballgame.
I Only Watch the Super Bowl for the Commercials by Stan Silliman     humor sports comedy cartoons
    Don’t you know (again I’m not talking to any extremely beautiful and brilliant person in particular) there are websites that gather, podcast, stream and condense these commercials so you can watch them all at once? And, get this, they would be at your loveliness’s convenience, as often as you wish, at no charge? In fact, these websites, when they let you see these commercials, have other commercials surrounding the commercials so you not only see these in a condensed form you get to enjoy other ads while watching ads. I can’t speak for every one of you, but if my sole reason for watching the Super Bowls were the high powered expensive ads, and if I had a chance to watch these ads surrounded by other ads in a streamlined, convenient manner, I’d be smashing my forehead with the can of a well-advertised beer for having sat through three-and-a-half hours of ballgame and wardrobe malfunctions.

    Do you want the sites, you lovely, brilliant ones with little time for actual game? Google Video is thinking of you. They condensed it into twenty minutes. DevLib has created a streaming video. AOL with their can link you to all the ads.

    This is where she says “You don’t get it, Stan. Yes, I’m not so interested in the game but I still want to watch the commercials in the company of others. I want to hear the collective comments. I want to enjoy the punch lines as part of a group dynamic.”

    To which I got up off my tushie and started to say “touché” but then I realized there was nothing for me to touché to. Darn. Fine ending you left me with, Dear.

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