By Stan Silliman
Super Bowl XLV Recap: Something For Everyone
Fans of both the Packers and the Steelers were treated to back home type weather.
The game was as tight as Jerry Jones face.
Terrible Towels were waved so hard, the "ble" came right off them.
Christina Aguilera flubbed the National Anthem.
The Black Eyed Peas were electric, although many weren't pleased with the Peas.
The Brett Favre monkey jumped off Aaron Rodgers back then texted pictures of himself throwing feces..
We got to see what Ben Roethlisberger looks like shaven.
The E-Trade baby was upgraded to toddler.
Yes, Super Bowl XLV had something for everyone.
What more could fans want? You get to enjoy the game in an indoor covered stadium but outside it's like back home. You don't even have to pack any beachwear. You can bring your Snuggie. If cold weather teams are going to win their conferences, they should have the game in Dallas every year.
Four hundred fans got kicked out of their temporary seats by the fire marshal and will receive triple their purchase prices as refunds. Best of both worlds: You get to say you were at the game but missed the Black Eyed Peas.
You knew the Steelers were in trouble when their home town gal, Christina Aguilera, made a boo-boo on the anthem.
I'm not totally critical of her because lots of us flub the anthem. If they didn't have the words scrolling on the big screen at the ball game, more of us would miss it. Some can't forgive her because she's a millionaire songstress who has sung the anthem in big crowds dozens of times before, maybe hundreds.
Nervousness, maybe? The Glee Gal throwing her off her game?
Finding unexpected snow, ice and hail in Dallas? Maybe that's it. Hail might make her forget we hailed something. You certainly couldn't hail a cab in this Dallas weather.
Aguilera issued this apology: "I could only hope that everyone can feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through."
She went on to say "I've been going through a divorce. I haven't had sex in a while. I can't even get Big Ben to fondle me."
The sympathy card! Well played, Miss Christina.
The game had something for everyone: Defense, offense, hard hits, great catches, tradition from teams with Super Bowl heritage.
It had "Terrible Towels" made in Wisconsin. And Cheesehead hats made in Penns... no, no one but Wisconsinites would make "cheesehead" hats.
It had Black Eyed Peas cooking in their electric futuristic Tron-like suits. It was so warm Fergie's scheduled wardrobe malfunction was aborted due to nipple retreat.
One nipple was heard to say "I Got a Feeling' you ain't going to see me, Babe." The other one quipped "Let's Get it Started? How about let's not."
Super Bowl XLV also had some good ads. I always like the E-Trade baby. Two years ago when the Dow hit 5800, I was very worried about him. All his investments had tanked. I heard he really took it in the shorts. But now he seems a little older and maybe a little wiser.
Randy Krallman, the director of the film, is the voice of the baby plus he writes the bits. He also directed the dancing baby and dozens of other short, hilarious films.
Like I say, Superbowl XLV had something for everyone.
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