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To Heal, Skier Vonn Chooses Cheese  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles






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By Stan Silliman
       
To Heal, Skier Vonn Chooses Cheese

    U.S. Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn is using cheese to heal her injured shin. For the purpose of reducing inflammation, she’s using an Austrian cheese called topfen.
Topfen is a soft cheese without whey.
    No whey, you say?
To which we respond… resoundingly with:”Absolutely, whey!”
    Yes, we repeat, the slalomly Lindsey and her Vonnerage are resorting to fromage.
    So her medal dreams are no mirage, they’re resorting to fromage.     

    Her boo-boos in need of mending, and yes, we’d love to be attending for if you saw her swimsuit layout per pages 84, 86 and 87… you’d have no trouble comprehending.
    With body perfect plus skiing form which won two world cups… and yes, if you’ve seen pages 84, 86 and 87 you’ve seen those world cups.
    But will it work, this cheese ice pack, as an inflammatory reducer?
    Her team of experts, her muscle mechanics at Lindsey Vonn Garage, swear it is just that… a super cure-all producer.
That’s why they resorted to fromage.

    It’s worked for years since the dawn of cheese… invented by the Kurds… a cottage industry of animals… working without words.
    Its varied uses are storied epics in works of history. Who can forget the Big War French with their rubber-shortage tires… when gouda wheels came into being to put out those metaphoric fires.
    Downhill racers need strong firm shins as they’re shushing down the mountain. Calcium helps firm up those shins… from cheese, if you’re still countin’.
To Heal, Skier, Vonn Chooses Cheese  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
    From cheese circles, yes, we’ve gathered our own experts. Does topfen work? Will it save the day? Will the legend turn out true?
    “Why, yes, it’s known to act this way,” says cheese activist, Jane Fondue.  
    But from the skeptic camp with a theory damp on Jane’s bubble he comes to stomp us. “There’s no science supporting this,” snaps cheese whiz, Stevie Wampus.
    “Oh, yes there is. In the affinage, if you catch it before it cures.”
“Oh, there you go, Miss Expert, I bet under your saddle, there’s burrs.”
“Well, then” comes back Miss healthy Jane, “I can do more dips than you.”
    “Bring it!” Wampus says, crouching low, cheese ball in hand, “Miss Fondue.”

    Hey guys, no cheese fights, we have to say. What about the lovely Lindsey Vonn and the poem you messed up? We had something good going. I guess this is what we get for importing a couple of cheese experts. Geesh.
    

    
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