By Stan Silliman
WACKIEST BASKETBALL QUOTES
“I’ve got my family to feed.”
That’s it. Right now that’s our nominee for wackiest basketball quote of 2004. The quote comes from the mouth of Latrell Sprewell, basketball player for the Minnesota Timberwolves who has asked to be traded if the T-Wolves won’t continue to pay him the $14 Mil salary he’s currently receiving. The T-Wolves have offered him a three-year $27 million dollar deal. Spree sees the offer as taking the food right off the table of his six kids. Goodness, it will mean he will only have $25, 280 per day to feed his family.
I’m sorry, but if you can’t provide the grub at 25K per day, something drastic needs to happen. Like maybe ship off one or two of your kids to a Sally Struthers country, where they’ll get by on a less than two dollars per day and with the money you’ll save, the other four kids should be able to eat at the rate they were eating when you were bringing in the big bucks.
And think of the funny story you’ll have to tell the grand kids, someday. About how the mean old basketball team was taking the food off your table so you had to send Page and Pam off to Bangladesh where they almost got eaten by a tiger. Not many grand-dads have the gift to jazz up these trials of life stories and have the wee ones straining to hear what’s next, but you do.
The shame of it is Latrell had worked extremely hard to re-assemble a decent reputation. He won over team mates, fans and even many in the media – not an easy task after his 1997 choking of his coach, P.J. Carlesimo. He had floated from the absolute bottom of the barrel to somewhere near the top.
One insensitive statement can send you back down.
We’re grouping Latrell’s quote in with other dumb basketball quotes. We’re not sure where it’ll rank but here are the others. This first one is close to Latrell’s – from the very quotable Shaquille O’Neal: “I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.”
Of course that’s not quite up there with Winston Bennett, who said “I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.”
But it’s better than former North Carolina State player, Charles Shackleford, who said “Left hand, right hand. It doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.”
Or Jason Kidd, who will forever be known for this geometrical quote: “We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.”
Vlade Divac, ever the mental evaluator, gave us this one: “We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot more information in our heads.”
And then there’s the remarkable passer, Magic Johnson, explaining why he and James Worthy work so well together: “It’s almost like we have ESPN.”
That reminds me. I’ve got television to watch.
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