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Westboro Protesting Football?  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Westboro Protesting Football?

       This article was written on Oct 24, so if you read about a big riot in Manhattan, Kansas, don’t say you weren’t warned.
    Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist gang plan to protest the Kansas State-Oklahoma football game Oct 25.

    Which Fred Phelps, you ask? The Fred “hey-I-had-thirteen-kids-doesn’t-that prove-I’m-hetero” Phelps. That Fred Phelps, the homophobic, anti-Semitic, anti-Catholic, anti-Swedish, anti-Finnish, anti-German, anti-Irish, anti-Indian, anti-Ghandi, anti-Princess Diana, anti-Howard Dean, anti-Ronald Reagan, anti-Sonny Bono, anti-Fred Rogers, anti-Billy Graham, anti-Jerry Falwell, anti-Kansas Law School and anti-Paul Newman, pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas. Gheesh, is there anybody this guy doesn’t hate?

    And now he’s protesting a football game? Has he completely run out of funerals of dead soldiers to protest? Did they cancel his subscription to the Village Voice so he no longer receives notices of gay marriages?

    What does his warped mind think… that football is some kind of gay love fest? Bet he heard about men making passes to other men, football teams bragging about their tight ends, guys huddling up together, bending over the center, playing smash mouth.  

    I’m not kidding. His Westboro Baptist website says the gang will gather at KSU stadium and picket “your stinking, rotten awful football game and your terrible team because you try to throw the ball with a limp wrist.” They’re bringing their “GODLESS SODOMITES” and “THANK GOD FOR KATRINA” signs to the intersection of Kimball & College in front of Bill Snyder Family Stadium.
Westboro Protesting Football?  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
    On the day prior to this planned protest the Phelps gang is going to protest Oklahoma City University because they’re presenting the play “The Laramie Project.” In that play, Pastor Phelps is portrayed as some kind of intolerant hate-monger. People from OCU plan to answer the Phelps crew with their own signs. Only OCUs signs will be of love and tolerance. Somehow I don’t think football fans will react in the same manner. In fact I’m sure of it.

    Football fans carry those little rubber footballs with them, ideal for hurling at placards and scrawled signs.

    A football fan is crazy enough to bare his chest, paint a letter on it, march up to Phelps and his little band of placard bearers, do a chest bump with another chest-letter-wearing fan and then when finished slap each other on the butt. He might even slap the Phelpsers on their butts.

    A football fan will take his giant foam finger, put something solid in the protruding digit and stick it to Fred Phelps in a place he claims not to enjoy.

    Football fans are crazy loyal to their team. They care not about the race of the players, or their religions or their orientations. Except for hanging pit bulls, football players can get away with almost and still have adoring fans. Calling these fans “perverts” won’t win Fred any points.


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