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20,000 Women Heard About Wilt's 100 Point Game  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles






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By Stan Silliman
       
20,000 Women Heard About Wilt's 100 Point Game

March 2nd was the 49th anniversary of Wilt Chamberlain's 100 point game against the Knicks in 1962. If you were one of the 38,000 people who claim to have seen the game or one of the million who saw it on television, send me a card. Oh, wait a moment. The game was never televised and the little gym in Hershey, Pennsylvania only held about 4000 people.

Whew, for a moment there, I thought my mailbox was going to be inundated with cards.

However, if you're one of the 20,000 women Wilt entertained while describing his high point exploits, I do want to hear from you. Especially if you're lady number 9030. I've seen the notches on his headboard and notch number 9030 seems extremely significant. I'm not sure if it's the groove or the wiggly action in the scribing of the notch, but that particular notch seems to distinguish itself from the other notches.

If this notch had it's own special night, like say the night of Passover, people would ask "Why is this Wilt Chamberlain conquest notch different from all other notches?"

If you haven't guessed, this article contains, as my Tulsa comedian friend Jay Dee likes to say "A butt load of numbers." We may set a Silliman on Sports record.After all, you can't write a Wilt Chamberlain story without loads and loads of numbers, butt loads, in fact.

In his third season (1961-62) Wilt averaged 50.4 points and 25.7 rebounds per game. And about 2.8 women per day. His normal average of 1.36 women per day (20,000 divided by 14,600 days) was greatly exceeded during his most productive year. Can you say dominate? Sure, you can.

Did I mention 50.4 points per game? Average, average. Let's repeat. On a day when you held Wilt to five points below his average, he still dropped 45 on you.

The Knicks starting center, Phil Jordan was battling the flu, so subs Darrall Imhoff and Dave Budd were given the honors of guarding Wilt. Imhoff got in foul trouble quickly, playing only twenty minutes in the game.

We think both Imhoff and Budd ate too many candy bars before the game. This is a problem when playing a game at Hersheypark Arena in Hershey: chocolate delights are very enticing. Some of those Ghiradelli chocolates—lip smacking delicious.

Anyway, Wilt abused the Knicks centers like they were groupies in a conga line. Or a daisy chain. Forgive me if I'm unaware of the favorite dance of the groupie.

After a 41 point first half, Wilt went on a terror of a third quarter scoring 28 points. Here's the kicker—Wilt was hitting his free throws. Normally he was a poor free throw shooter, but on March 2nd, he shot 32 free throws and hit an NBA record 28 of them.

Only 4028 people attended the Hershey, Pennsylvania historic game.I know what you're saying: "Only 4028? Don't more people than that attend the W.C.G.F.C.(Wilt Chamberlain Girl Friend Convention)? And yeah, there is such a thing, and they all get together and exchange recipes.

Here's another question I bet you're asking: How did he do it? And, of course, we're referring to the 20,000 women, not the 100 point game.

Here's the short answer. Oops, let me rephrase because when we're talking about Wilt, nothing is short. Here's the more succinct answer. Besides having natural gifts, Wilt also practiced extremely hard. And, please, don't ask me to rearrange that answer in a more risque manner.

Wilt became so adept at practicing, he surrounded his bedroom with mirrors (see above), so he could critique his techniques.You don't become a world class athlete by leaving anything to chance.

The above picture is just one of his six bedrooms. We figure he had a bedroom for each night of the week, and then on Sunday, like God, he rested.

The above bedroom had mirrors on the ceiling, which Wilt could clean by merely standing on his tiptoes, mirrors on the walls and mirrors for his mirrors. Just in case a few of his mirrors got lonely.
20,000 Women Heard About Wilt's 100 Point Game  by Stan Silliman humor sports comedy cartoons articles
You will note the 8' diameter circular water bed has eight upholstered cushions surrounding his bed. This is so when he's entertaining an octet of girl friends they will all have comfortable surroundings in which to sit... or lie. Wilt is nothing if not a gentlemen.

Let's restate that. Wilt is nothing if not a womanizing giant of a gentleman.

Please again note the eight cushions surrounding the circular bed. They represent a nice feature for the wealthy giant womanizer. When he presses a button and the bed spins, little energy is wasted as Wilt goes from gal to gal. And believe me, after scoring 100 point games, you don't have a lot of energy to waste. 

Do you remember questioning how Wilt could bed two women a day?

Now you understand. It's a matter of inventory, stockpiling and just in time delivery. All modern production plants use similar principles.

Another of his bedrooms,, the library bedroom, combined two of Wilt's favorite pastimes—sex and reading... about sex. ‘

How do you celebrate the 100 point game? Here’s how: every time you look up in the night skies and see Ursa Major, which by the way, was the name of Wilt's house, think of the Big Dipper.



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