on Sports
Year End Relocations Exciting by Stan Silliman


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Year End Relocations Exciting

      Iverson to the Denver Nuggets and Daisuke Matsuzaka to the Boston Red Sox make each town’s respective sports fans gaga over their omelettes and clam chowder.

    Matsuzaka to the Sox certainly has all of Boston’s Japanese baseball fans excited. I know because I spoke to him.

    Iverson, after being in Denver a few days, said he knew Denver had a lot of white folks but never realized they could be so white. And secondly, he questioned whether he’ll ever feel safe seeing so many people in the town wearing ski masks.
Year End Relocations Exciting by Stan Silliman
    Matsuzaka, met with the media and through an interpreter said he was happy to join Boston because he loves tea… and tea parties. Later he said he wanted to meet Big Bird, his favorite Celtic.

    People wonder how Iverson, a 31 point a game scorer can co-exist with Carmelo Anthony, a 32 point per game scorer. No NBA team has ever had two 30 point per game scorers. To answer whether Allan and Carmelo will get along we referred the question to Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder. They started singing an answer, which by the way – “The Answer” is Allan Iverson’s nickname. Paul and Stevie’s musical answer goes like this:

    Anthony and Iverson
    Both like to shoot but who’ll be the one
    One is short and one is tall
    Both are corn-rowed and both can ball
    Iverson and Anthony
    Living together in perfect harmony?
    Really no question… if only you could see
    Easy for you to say… Mr. Di-vorc-eee
    Side by side… this isn’t working is it?

    “Where’s my song?” asks Daisuke. “You gave Allan Ivelson song. Matsuzaka deserve song. I want song by Japanese band MacDonald Duck Éclair “Matsuzaka from Osaka.” You told stupid jokes about me and then give Ivelson a song. Not right welcome. Play my song.”

    Okay. We, at Silliman on Sports, do not discriminate. If D-mat wants his song printed, we accommodate. We need to warn you and D-Mat. The English translation isn’t perfect but here it is, Matsuzaka from Osaka by MacDonald Duck Éclair:

    We love you, Matsuzaka, you pitcher from Osaka
    You struck out Cubans, made them look macaca
    Your wife, she hot, she has the great big rockets
    Great big rockets, yeahhh, bigger than Godzilla
    Great big rockets, yeahhh, you pitcher from Osaka

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