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Funniest Football Fight Song Lyrics article by Stan Silliman


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman
Funniest Football Fight Song Lyrics

      We don’t know how many football fans we’ll offend today, but if you’ve got a favorite college football team and they’ve got a fight song, it’s likely you’re on the list. We’re taking actual lines from major power football team’s fight songs and giving them the Silliman treatment.

    Arizona State’s “Maroon and Gold”:  They’re the Sun Devils, okay, and they start off singing about their colors “Long may our colors outshine all others.” That’s okay, but then they sing: “Echo from the Buttes, Give ‘em hell Devils!” I’m sorry but there seems to be a lot of flatulency in these lines. I guess that IS how Devils express themselves. 

    Georgia Tech’s “Ramblin’ Wreck” glorifies college drinking like no other. Listen to these lines: “I’m a ramblin’ wreck from Georgia Tech and a helluva engineer. Like all the college fellows, I drink my whiskey clear.” And then like all good drunks they become obsessed with a rival school “And if I had a son sir, I’d tell you what he’d do. He would yell ‘To HELL with Georgia!’ like his daddy used to do.” Then it’s back to the chief enterprise, drinking: “Oh, if I had a barrel of rum and sugar three thousand pounds, A college bell to put it in and a clapper to stir it around…” I’m sure it’s a good recruiting song.

    Michigan’s “Hail to the Victors” song needs a little updating. In case you didn’t know, it was written long ago. How long? Listen to these lines: “Hail! To the conquering heroes! Hail! Hail! To Michigan: The Champions of the West!” ‘Nuff said.

    Nebraska plays “There is No Place like Nebraska” after an extra point kick. These lines seem appropriate: “Dear old Nebraska U, where the girls are the fairest, the boys are the squarest… of any school that I knew.” I’m sure these lines are what attracted Tommy Lee to film his “Tommy Lee Goes to College” reality show there.

    Tennessee uses “Rocky Top” which is actually a pretty song but not very footballish yet unique in its women bred with animals theme. Catch these lines: “Once I had a girl from Rocky Top, Half bear the other half cat, Wild as a Mink but sweet as soda pop…” Later on we have the prerequisite drinking reference: “Once two strangers climbed ole Rocky Top, Lookin’ for a moonshine still. Strangers ain’t come down from Rocky Top. Reckon they never will… Corn won’t grow on Rocky Top… That’s why all the folks on Rocky Top get their corn from a jar.”

    Texas A & M’s “Aggie War Hymn” mentions Texas University more than their own school. Can you say obsessed? It starts off “Goodbye to Texas University, so long to the orange and the white…” and then farther on they sing “The eyes of Texas are upon you,’ that is the song they sing so well (sounds like hell). So goodbye to Texas University, we’re gonna beat you all to Chig-a-roo-garem, Chig-a-roo-garem.” We don’t know what that means or whether there should be a college course telling us what that means but we do know the Aggies don’t like the Longhorns and when they wrote this song they must have assumed they’d only play one game a year. Plus we think the song pre-dates Bevo because the chorus goes “Saw Varsity’s horns off, saw Varsity’s horns off.”  
Funniest Football Fight Song Lyrics by Stan Silliman
    Washington U can lay claim to the most pompous fight song. It’s just a tad arrogant starting off with “Bow Down to Washington! Bow Down to Washington!” We think Seattle’s Crane boys would like it. Other lines like “Heaven help the foes of Washington. They’re trembling at the feet of mighty Washington.” I think the guy who wrote this was tanked up on Starbucks. Are you ready for these final lines? “Our boys are there with bells. Their fighting blood excels. It’s harder to push them over the line than pass the Dardanelles.” Pomposity blends with Turkish obscurity. You can just see Niles and Frazier snickering as the hoi polloi know not what they’re singing about. 


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