on Sports
rodeo not just bull


Silliman on Sports
By Stan Silliman

     Every year, in the summer or early fall, high school rodeo hopefuls gather for the National High School rodeo championships. We applaud these young ropers and riders. It’s never too early to get thrown from a horse or to get kicked in places where life will kick you sooner or later. Or to land in the stuff life lands you sooner or later. Or to get dragged kicking and screaming. Rodeo gives you life lessons many sports don’t. However, we ask this question – when you’ve learned all your rodeo skills and the ranches aren’t hiring and you’re not quite good enough to turn pro how can you apply the lessons you’ve learned from high school rodeo? As always, Silliman on Sports comes to the rescue. We suggest the following jobs or projects to which you can apply your rodeo skills. We ask for no fee or commission, just thanks:

    Saddle Bronc Riding on the Airlines – Airlines are always looking for new ways to win back customers. What if just after finishing an airline meal the passengers hear the pilot say “Please do not get up because we have a surprise for you. Coming out of Stewardess Chute No 1, last year’s National High School Saddle Bronc riding champion – Clayton Selby from Wyoming on top of Black Thunder. Folks, let’s give him a hand and keep your arms out of the aisle.” 

    You probably can only ride once a flight and then there’d be a little clean up but think of the crowd energy you’d generate. Saddle bronc riding at 30,000 feet, yessiree. If you go to the airlines with this idea try to get the big planes with the wide aisles. We don’t think it’ll work on  commuter planes.

    Panhandling with Your Rodeo Bull – There’s will be a time when both you and your bull are going to be out of rodeo work. Bulls are expensive to feed but we don’t have to tell you that. So why not have him help on street corner panhandling? We know what you’re going to say – don’t the professional homeless panhandlers have all the good street corners already tied up?
That’s a good question, but we’ve researched and found that if you show up with a rodeo bull, and everyone sees you’ve got control of the bull, they pretty much deed over the corner to you. It’s very likely old style panhandlers don’t have your rodeo skills. Once you’ve established your corner all you need say is “I need money to feed my rodeo bull” and then have your rodeo bull do his best snarl. You’ll be surprised how generous folks will be. If passersby seem hesitant all you need say “If I don’t get chow money soon, my grip on the bull will get weakkkkk….” 

    Rodeo Clowning during Domestic Disputes – Hubby and wifey going at it again. Don’t waste your time with Dr. Phil. What’s that barrel you see rolling down the kitchen floor? Yes, up pops Bubbles the Rodeo Clown distracting Martha away from Arthur. “Over here, lady. Bet you can’t put that rolling pin on this nose.”
    All the time you’ve trained as a rodeo clown is perfect for the marital arena. When the wife snorts you know when to back up. When she starts digging in her heels and then glances at the cowering hubby, you squirt her with your lapel flower. You drop down in the barrel just as the dishes start flying. ‘Here, lady, Here, lady. Hey, hey, hey. I’ve got a big red nose.”  She may come over and breathe heavy on your barrel but you have the confidence in knowing you’ve trained well as a high school rodeo clown. No fire-breathing housewife is going to get the best of you. Besides, while you’ve been doing your job, Arthur has escaped. We see a future here.

Rodeo not just bull
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